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| DANGER: high voltage |
| 04.29.04 (12:06 am) [edit] |
we always make a big plan for the day. we were supposed to go and get measurments for horsebot 24.4i and all that stuff. but every day always turns out the same. i just end up sleeping too much until everyone is mad at me, then i wake up and go visit everyone for a short period before they either go to work or go to sleep. my sister got the exaggeration gene passed down to her. tonight i "blew up her microwave!" or if you wish "set it on fire!" this is coming from the girl who's so weak that she got shut in a door at work and couldn't battle the wind to save her life. we're all very lucky that horrible door only gave her a few bruises. :P
so let me explain myself. there's a tasty looking sandwich wrapped in a very light foil COLORED package. i had seen an episode of MYTHBUSTERS where they busted the myth of the exploding microwave. i assumed it was safe to heat up the sandwich. i put the thing in there and my sister warned me of it catching on fire. about 10 seconds later the thing sparked and i quickly opened the microwave. it left a tiny "scorch" if you will. my sister claims i've blown up the microwave and set it on fire. word with her spreads like wildfire. a field of microwaves with foil in them. that kinda fire. her phone rings. her first words: "griffin caught my microwave on fire!" bah humbug. it'll live and now it's got a cool scar. chick microwaves dig dude microwaves with cool scars.
after the microwave fiasco at my sister's house, i proceeded over to simon's place. we had an hour to kill before he had to work. we spent that hour lounging around and talking about weird dreams. when we were leaving his house we were upstairs and were startled to see his younger brother laying down in the front room wrapped up in a blanket. "what the crap are you doing sleeping on the floor?" we questioned him. turns out the dog took a huge wiz all over his room and made it unsanitary to sleep there. my question is: why didn't he sleep on the couch that was 3 feet away from him? who knows. this is the same kid that had a bird take a poo on his head while he was walking down the road. and yes, my friend's little brother. we'll see what tomorrow has in store for our small lives that will be changed in 1 single night.
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| from a balance beam |
| 04.28.04 (4:46 am) [edit] |
recently, everybody has been asking me why i'm acting all different and crap. i'm here to clear up some rumors and set the story straight. everyone from family members, friends, and even my bosses have grilled me as to what's going on. they all think i'm depressed or angry/upset or suicidal or something. but that's just not the case. it's true my life is kind of upside down at the moment and i'm putting the pieces back into place, but there's nothing to worry about. i'm still me, still sarcastic, still drive gunship grey, still fall in love every other week, still like fetuses, still sing along to a song at any given time, still have the firebelly toad nigel (who's in stalk mode right now) i'm still me. i'm just tired, that's all. i work lots. i'm on the craziest sleeping schedule you've ever seen. i seem to always be low on time, so i can never have a deep philiosophical discussion with anyone. all i can say is that i shall remain walking on earth, alive. it takes more than a silver bullet dipped in holy water to get rid of me, i'm a fighter. i'm fine. yes. i'm not in denial either. i know exactly what i'm doing. so i hope that puts out some fires on people's minds about me. i appreciate their concern and give them my "big up" peace sign thingy to them. though that wasn't an anti-war statement. it was a pro-rapper statement. and being pro-rapper doesn't mean i'm pro-naughty language. i'm just pro hot beats.
where was i? i get home from work and my friend tells me he's found a new website. it deals with books. basically he explains it to me like this: "you get a book of yours, write this web address on the inside and yer name or whatever and then you go and leave the book at a place. then someone comes and finds this book and looks it up and sees that it's registered on this website."
big sarcastic WOW!
honestly, i don't have a life. but i'm not that pathetic to be going around on a glorified game of hide and go seek for some crappy book. this is just the worst idea ever.
that's it for real life. i can now refer you to the plainfame blog. we updated it with the first installment of the golden cow. the golden cow knows all. he's psychic and omnipotent. he might also have multiple personalities. ask him any question on your mind and he shall respond. http://plainfame.tblog.com also if you want a fatalfame fetus just be sure to drop me a private message with your email and i'll send you the code and i'll pick you a suiting fetus for your website/blog. i think i might start referring to them as a "famous fetus" you like?
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| if we can't trust the doctors... |
| 04.27.04 (4:55 am) [edit] |
my friend and i and like 5 cool people in detroit are the only people in the world who know about and like this band called BLANCHE. they're like this bizarre alt country band that sound like they're from the 40's or something. their lyrics are incredible and the guy used to be in a band with jack white and la la la. get yourself a couple free mp3s from their website http://www.blanchemusic.com/m...
and just some random conversation my friend and i were having about lyrics and how he doesn't know any of the right words and still can't name all the people in radiohead and still doesn't know the name of that one ending song by that one band that is the 2nd best in the world (we'll talk later, you and i) and la la la. here's our brief conversation. it's all an inside joke anyway. i just wanna post it so i don't forget it. it's hard to make me laugh through text.
ff: here's your ultimate lyric test. if you fail, i'll hate you forever
s: wait
ff: now the stars are sick of shining, though nothing's really wrong...
s: you do realize that I'm gonna fail don't you
ff: too late
s: Ooooh
s: I know this one
ff: ooo!
ff: no cheating!
s: it doesn't take a jealous man to see that the yellow one is the sun.
ladies and gentleman, the love of my life. i won't tell you if it's the blog or the writer. oooo! :P http://snickerdoodle.tblog.co...
and last but not least, i've got a few requests for a fatalfame fetus pictured below.
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
if you want one, send me a private message with your email and i'll drop you the html code so you can post it on your blog and be the proud father/mother of your very own fetus. and since in real life you can't pick whether you want a boy or girl (yet! :P) i shall pick your fetus for you to best match your site/personality. by the way, http://axanar.tblog.com was the first owner of one.
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| the biggest lie |
| 04.26.04 (8:07 am) [edit] |
everyone says i'm quite negative and ask me why i never "like anything!" i say i like stuff, they just need to listen more. i think i've decided to take the quiet route when it comes to voicing my opinion. it seems to make everyone mad. or upset. it's not like a care about their feelings, i just care about making the world not view me as a dark cynical sarcastic sour whiney kid. so in the most SARCASTIC manner, i am writing this blog. it's all in OPPOSITE world today. it's all very uplifting and positive. i know what everyone likes to read. : i had the most WONDERFUL time at work. (night after night after night i always do!) it was a tight little shift that ended without any bumps at all. my coworkers are very hard working and they all respect me very much and never say anything disrespectful or try to start any kind of verbal battle with me. of course, being the kid i am. i never fight back or say what's on my mind. i love it this way. i never get filthy, tired or injured at work. it's a safe, caring environment filled with managment that cares about me as a person and respects my individuality. they encourage me to make friends and have fun. my close friend would never fulfill a prophecy predicted by me that when confronted by the opposition, he would abandon ship and not want any trouble. i forgive and forget. it's all water under the bride when you cross my path. no problem, friend.
you are no longer in OPPOSITE WORLD. you are in my world, for the time being at least. apparently, i'm a very private and mysterious person. the nerdy rabbit hole actually goes quite deep with me. they say a pisces is the most emotional and passionate. screw astrology. want to know what i expect from my friends and family in life? 100% loyalty. that's all i want. i always had a hard time making friends in school cuz i never trusted anyone. you can't confide in someone you think will spill the beans. you can't rely on someone who isn't always gonna be there for you. you can't fall backwards and be caught when no one is standing behind you. (i've always wanted to do that trust excercise!) i don't think people know how big loyalty and trust are to someone like me. it's a big thing to ask of someone, but it's something that proves whether or not they're your real friend if you can count on them. your friends should be there to:
A. back you up at all times in all situations, unless you're at fault.
B. be around when you need em
C. spot you a dollar when yer broke
D. any other thing that you may require. this could be things like laying down in traffic, throwing their jacket in the mud for you (if you're quite lame) be a punching bag when yer mad, take you down to a level state of mind when you are about to get mad, and drag you through the desert on their back when you just can't take another step.
am i the friend you want in return? i hope my friends know i'd do any of that crap if i needed to for them. and even though i have only a small handful of close friends, they should be around forever. they know who they are. but the worst thing is when you have to reconsider a friend. when you have to question their judgment. that's when it sucks. just hope you never have to do it. wow. i'm so very tired. i think i've been up for let's see.. lemme count here. let's calculate the 2 hour power nap.. 40 hours. yeah, i'd say i'm about physically and mentally drained as one can be. that's when i get all sensitive and the walls come down. then when i sleep, i'm rebuilding them, ready to take the shots the next day. i just hope i can rely on my friends to help me with carrying those freakin heavy bricks.
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| tonight, let's dance |
| 04.25.04 (12:06 am) [edit] |
did the fun thing tonight. or last night, whatever it was. i hate being technical about time. we all met up and had some expensive, small pizza. people got ripped off, someone even found a hair in the cheesecake. it was all wonderful. from there we headed out to the bowling alley (which is connected to the pizza place) we all bowled a game and i came in a close 2nd. but that's not important. from there everyone just kinda split up and we all went our seperate ways. this is just about where i am right now. but nothing much has happened in the real world. how bout the blogging world?
:: i'm warning you right now, this is a small fiery rant that i feel strongly about. so if you're a guilty party or feel like arguing.. you've been warned. ::
recently i've come across some blogs attacking certain religions. namely, my religion. (and other religions i don't care about) i shall not tell you what i am, cuz that's not the point. i've dropped hints as to what i am, you shoulda been paying attention anyway. the point is: you can't go around bashing people's religions. it's a subject most people hold close to their icy hearts. you shouldn't generalize an entire religion cuz of something that happened in their history, you shouldn't judge an entire religion based on 1 jerky person you met who just happens to belong to that church or whatever. i know i don't preach tolerance very much, but just keep yer yapper shut and yer typing fingers in yer pockets if you feel like bashing someone's church. you never know who's gonna be what and who's listening/watching. just hope it isn't me when i'm in a bad mood, cuz i'll staple those fingers of yours to yer forehead. :
in the mean time, after i've threatened all my readers to back off, i encourage you to visit all my links. they're all worthy enough to be posted as my links so that means they're all worthy enough to take a moment of your time. also be sure to get your double fatal dosage with a hint of mr. plainclothes himself just about every day at
http://plainfame.tblog.com" title="http://plainfame.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://plainfame.tblog.com
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| ding dong the roomy is dead |
| 04.24.04 (5:14 pm) [edit] |
hello is your roommate stephen (i think that's his name) home? oh no i'm sorry. he MOVED TO CHINA TO TEACH ENGLISH!
i just received the most wonderful news of my life, ever. the annoying roomy is going to china on monday. that poor sucker. i hope he gets arrested and tortured by the communist censorship police. they might boot him outta their country cuz he's so annoying. "i'm so sorry sir, yer guitar playing is offensive to the world. you must leave now."
heading out tonight to do the bowling/fun/pizza thing. i shall inform thee as to how that goes.
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| to be young |
| 04.24.04 (3:56 am) [edit] |
what do we do with our days off? do ya clean your room you've been neglecting for the past week? of course not. you go out and see kill bill for a buck 50. it was expectedly gory. but still good. especially there with friends who i never thought i'd be hanging out with by myself. i always just assume everyone hates me because i'm young and a power hotty.
after the flick (in the world's most uncomfy theater) i went back to my friend's house and we had to power through our extreme boredom. we realized that with goosh being gone, we needed a 3rd pal to complete the hang out night. it's always nice to have someone you can gang up on or have extra input from. we spent a bit of the night listening to music while laying on the floor on opposite ends of the room rolling a pool ball back and forth trying to roll it over a penny inbetween us. it was quite groundbreaking and important. we still had a good time, but we both kinda felt defeated. i could tell. saturday is always a better day.
something i noticed when i was outside getting into my car. i look up the road and there was just a bus sitting there in the road. in the middle of a residential road, a bus. after i stood there gazing on the bright lights, i realized i probably looked like a fool and got into my car. something about driving at 4 in the morning is extremely annoying. every light in the city should be green. or at least yields. there's only like a handful of cars on the road. you should be able to drive as fast as you want, as long as you're safe. but nope. the lights love to be red for me. i realized i had blown up for the day when i started yelling at the lights like they were people and having conversations with them. and also talking aloud to myself about how i loved stopping at red lights when there were no other cars that needed to go and how if i could have life my way, i'd enjoy stopping at red lights every time i came upon one. i love them sooo much. i used to have a green light charm, but now it's turned into a red light curse. and i'm seriously not kidding. i either hit red lights or have to very illegally speed through yellow lights. that's enough of that.
oh and p.s. describing a blog to tasty emo girl and we discovered that it's kind of an oxy-moron. i described it as "kind of a public journal." she brought it to my attention that it indeed was an oxy-moron. ---dear diary, today i met this girl and i fell in love. she tells me says are you all right. i say i must be fine because my heart's still beating...
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| things i can't control |
| 04.23.04 (5:10 pm) [edit] |
i'm not worried about computers and robots taking over the world and destroying mankind. you know how we'd beat em? the power button. they don't have arms to physically turn themselves on. we could debate more but, "i'm afraid i can't let you do that." if we need to fear anything destroying humanity, it's that fooking ryan seacrest.
do you honestly believe that you're going to do remarkable things in your lifetime? people can always say stuff to you that makes ya think, but do you really think yer gonna be accomplishing much? why do you get up every day and do the same thing? - this is just some of the stuff my brain taunts and discourages me with every single night at work. i never knew just how frustrating opening shoe boxes could be. but when yer brain is walking towards a mental cliff, it gets hard.
i must admit, i might have a new musical guilty pleasure. not sure yet. i'll fill you in if the collection grows. i shall say napolean dynamite looks like the funniest movie i've ever seen. i think that's a fair statement. and i think i hate a certain radio station. they never yield any of my requests, and they don't know what they're talking about ever. did we ever decide what the crap the difference is between smacks and golden crisp cereal? frog vs. bear. that's all i know so far. kellogs vs. post or something. it's very important, it will complete lives. i must go now. *sigh*
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| the first of the gang to die |
| 04.21.04 (11:51 pm) [edit] |
after experimenting with the dvd burner. and after it only taking an amazingly fast 2.5 hours to burn a FOOKING dvd, i love it! i'll figure it out..
i've noticed my beautiful hair has been sorta coming out in the shower. why must people anger me so? stop making me mad, cuz i'll eventually stop being blindingly gorgeous and i'll only be as beautiful as i dunno, hercules or something.
i was awakened at 4pm today by the sound of my idiot roommate playing his guitar very crappily once again. i'd only been sleeping for like 5-6 hours so i decided to do something about it. i reached under my bed and grabbed hold of the closest blunt object. i then hurled it in the general direction of i dunno, MY WALL. it smacked it and the guitar stopped playing. it worked. wow. nice caveman technique huh? only problem is, i think i've damaged relations with the poor loser. i got home later that night after grocery shopping (shopping is so sad) and he was upstairs watching tv. i walked in, glared and went into the kitchen. he then shut off the tv and ran downstairs to hide from me, i suppose. now, it's always a fun debate when my friend and i try to guess what this roommate is up to. keep in mind he's gone typically for about an hour a day. from around 9am-10am. he comes home and showers. let's take some guesses, here they are.
#1. i say he goes to some kind of gym or rock climbing place and tries to impress the ladies, he then comes home disappointed and sweaty from his nerves, so he showers.
#2. my friend takes a more daring approach. he thinks for that 1 hour, the roomy goes to the post office or some other place to pick up shady merchandise. he then proceeds home to shower away the evidence and then sells it online to other shady unemployed losers who monopolize the driveway 6 days a week.
#3. maybe he goes out for a guitar lesson in the morning. but this can't be, cuz compared to him, i can play the guitar better with my butt.
any other suggestions as to what he's up to for that 1 hour per day? i overhead him calling his doctor wondering about a perscription of some kind. maybe that has to do with it somehow. if you've seen him in your neighborhood, let me know.
oh and p.s. what the crap is the differnce between smacks and golden crisp cereal? there's a bear on one and a frog on the other? i can see through that freakin hogwash!
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| somebody told me |
| 04.21.04 (5:26 am) [edit] |
i've been inspired to write. i was reading another blog (not yours) and i liked the idea it had. it was a list of things that make you different from other people. this should occupy some of my time. other than the time i'll be spending for being pissed cuz i never think of the good ideas myself.
things that make ME different from the rest of the sheep:
[b]1.[/b] i must sit in front of a heat source of some kind in the morning.
[b]2.[/b] i can look at myself in the mirror for long amounts of time and be entertained. (i did this when i was young too.)
[b]3.[/b] I don't really like kids. (i think i scare em anyway.)
[b]4.[/b] I've been on a plane once.
[b]5.[/b] I can listen to rap and enjoy it.
[b]6.[/b] I can't wait to buy new toothpaste when the time comes.
[b]7.[/b] Same thing with soap.
[b]8.[/b] I used to hate radiohead AND the strokes. crazy huh? my filter of hate has been readjusted since then. but i was the one in my family who discovered the strokes! me me me!
[b]9.[/b] I can listen to the same song over and OVER again and AGAIN.
[b]10.[/b] I can have a conversation using entirely quoted lines from either scrubs or arrested development.
[b]11.[/b] I lose my hair all the time due to bottled anger.
do you know me more? i think that was a learning experience for all. i decided it sux that nobody thinks i can beat up anyone. sure i'm a nice guy, but it'd be nice to have people think i'm actually sorta tuff. i think if i ever got in a fight, i'd just completely lose it and go hannibal lecter on the person. you know, just on top of them beating them with the blood splattering. that's also going fight club on someone. i'd hafta have something gone horribly wrong with that person to have me beat them nearly to death. i hope i don't hafta do this ever. heh. must channel anger into wood chopping or knitting.
i like the new blog. http://plainfame.tblog.com MEGALOMANIA will take over the world, in due time.
i feel stupid trying to figure out my new dvd burner. i can't really explain it, i'll hafta ask for help from my brother who didn't know how to pull up on a sink to turn it on. here's his blog, by the way. http://tobiasfunke.tblog.com
and i've had some good laughs this week from a pal. he's full of sound effects and funny stories about people in bathrooms and movie mixups and stuff like that. they say i'm his new biggest fan, but that's not possible. cuz i'm MY biggest fan. anyway, enough of this. http://axanar.tblog.com and yes, i made that header.
"when i say he beat the living crap out of me, i mean... THE LIVING CRAP."
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| room on fire last nite |
| 04.20.04 (6:50 am) [edit] |
the moment you've all been waiting for. the project i've been telling you all so much about. fellow tblogger plainclothes21 and i have teamed up to form the world's greatest blog. i fully endorse this wonderful piece of art we've created and i whole heartedly guarantee your satisfaction, but i can't refund yer worthless time you spent looking at it. now, go.
http://plainfame.tblog.com" title="http://plainfame.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://plainfame.tblog.com
now that i've got that out of the way, i bet you're all mildly interested to see how my night seeing the strokse went. it was all sooooo very goooood. they completely blew us away and my throat kills from screaming bloody murder and my legs are a lil sore from constantly jumping around. (and also from those pilates i did earlier.) reptilia rocked so hardcore, i can't even tell you. shame on all you ignorant people who don't know who the strokes are.
wow, i really don't have much else to report after that. it's a hard thing to follow. have i told you about the alt blog i co-started? sure i have. look again. http://plainfame.tblog.com
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| hard days night |
| 04.19.04 (7:25 am) [edit] |
this is just how dirty i can get on a long shift at work.
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
big night tonight. i'll report when it's all done and the musical dust has settled. also, big day tomorrow for the online world, prepare yourselfs mentally. i suggest buying a roll of duct tape and wrapping that around your head so it won't explode when the plan is unveiled.
i can also say that my sister and i are planning to be partners in crime for a soap box derby race for our church. they say "you can make your car as illegal as you want." so we have in the works, HORSEBOT 24.4i
horsebot will be the world's greatest derby car! he shall be a plastic horse mounted on a piece of wood with wheels attached to that wood. about half way up the wood we'll have another long piece of wood or some kind of strong material that will run perpendicular to the horse, thereby causing all the other derby cars to not win and (hopefully) push horsebot 24.4i to his future glorious victory!
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| the reccomends |
| 04.17.04 (8:58 pm) [edit] |
feeling much better, thanks for asking. :P
project in the works, it shall see the light of day soon. you're all very curious.
i highly reccomend and encourage all my minions and followers to visit http://tobiasfunke.tblog.com
it's my brother's blog. the same brother who didn't know how to turn on his bathroom sink for like a month. he's very entertaining. YOU PULL UP ON THE KNOB.
while yer at it, remember to visit the captain and his blog at http://axanar.tblog.com neither of my recommends will disappoint, "i guarantee it."
and for your daily spiritual awareness class, visit http://captmoroni.tblog.com this one comes from my cousin toilet guy. it's chalk full of wholesome family goodness and should be mentally uplifting.
so yes. there's my plugs. i feel like a better person. don't you? (note: yer only a better person if you follow the links.)
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| crack your little soul |
| 04.17.04 (6:05 am) [edit] |
you seeing red yet? i figure my life has become a life that is lived in a big red store. the store is a spirit-breaking monotonous machine. why the decline in my readers? do i not impress anyone anymore? i'm not here to impress anybody, i don't really care anymore. how is it possible that at the end of every day and every week that i'm quite mentally exhausted? maybe cuz my brain is so huge that it's just hard to pack around all night. tom (our work dad now) says that i'm not a know it all, i just know it all. what can i say? i do know all. except anything that has to do with peace of mind.
the store has sucked all the humor from my bones. have i lost the battle? i hope not, though i'm accustomed to losing on a regular basis. blah blah. i love reading this stuff! it's actually kinda fun to write. it's a way to relieve stress. i call it stress relief through public humiliation. we all know there are cowboy boots. but why no cowboy SHOES? all of this has been written inbetween long pauses. my eyes are all twitchy and stuff. you know the muscle twitch stuff? my eyes get those a lot nowadays. is nowadays a word? who am i asking these questions to? oh crap i've probably really lost it.
. . . .
. . . .
. . . .
. . . .
v v v v
if you're still out there, something big is on the horizon. the blueprint has been layed out and you will see.
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| me and the bean |
| 04.16.04 (6:28 am) [edit] |
i took a deep breath while standing outside my car,"i love you." i said confidently.
"i love you too." tom replied instantly, yet, with a hint of humor and confusion in his voice.
we both laughed a little bit and drove away. that's how my night ended at work. the drive home is usually the funnest part of my day. i twirl the volume knob on the cd player. the decemberists crack in through the speakers on the doors. "but i, i never felt so much life than tonight. huddled in the trenches. gazing on the battlefield our rifles blaze away, we blaze away!" i yell along with the beat of the drum. car singing is ok at night time, as long as nobody sees you, it's ok to do most anything. i push a few buttons, the stills are now flooding my car with noise. i look around at all the advertisements on the side of the road. i push down on the accelerator a little more and watch the numbers and gauges move. i always hit that one red light, always. green yellow red. always. i can make the 10 mile drive home sound really cool can't i? it's just a drive. i know it all too well.
nigel seems to be in high spirits. for the first time since i've got him, he's up on his bark beach basking in the heavenly glow of a 60 watt bulb. he ate all the crickets in a fret of excitement.
having various things to look forward to can inspire me to keep doing what i'm doing. my friend and i have a big plan in store for the world in the works. when i say the world, i mean the internet community, i'm no psycho and i don't think he is either. but i do know of an eccentric star trek fan and lord of the rings lover and my sister's boyfriend and my good pal who could use a good plug from me. he's got himself a nifty little blog going and i've linked it on my site and i shall link it again here. though since i've linked it, don't i deserve a date with his younger, hot sister? i think so.
now, go forth, my minions and make me proud.
axanar.tblog.com
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| take it or leave it |
| 04.14.04 (11:55 pm) [edit] |
my hands are sore. let me explain.
my friend invites me over to his house to hang out. i walk in and find that the entire kitchen is being ripped apart for some remodeling. they're making some big changes, expensive changes. i spent about 90 minutes ripping up the wooden floor with a crow bar and it was fun for about the first 30 minutes. it started getting a little well, laborious. my hands got all semi blistery and my back was aching a tiny bit. the crow bar was all hot from the friction of my raw hands holding it. demolition makes for a good work out!
the graveyard hours suck. the drive home is always a sad one cuz you know you have nothing to do. you try to come up with creative projects to do to keep you busy. i always try to write, or make some art, or rip off art and make it my own. or i watch old favorite tv shows and stuff. it all ends up being boring. i'd take a night at home anytime than a night of work though. i say "though" too much.
i took this personality quiz that was eerily right on. www.colorquiz.com creepy stuff. "please stop asking me to describe you." speaking of lyrics, the strokes are in 4 days and i'm excited to see them again. they're way cool and they'll have more songs to play this time. so yes. that's all i have, take it or leave it.
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| follow me around |
| 04.14.04 (3:51 am) [edit] |
an 11 hour shift does funny things to a person.
a 5.5 hour shift the next day makes up for it.
the long shift was crazy. today (for the short shift) the first thing that happened to me was that the crazy guy came up to me and apologized for apparently threatening to "do away" with me the day before. it's quite sweet when a potential murderer feels sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.
they left me out of the meeting and claimed they never spoke of shoes. the liars.
nigel t. pennyfeather just kinda sits there and stares into space. if you make any kinda movement around him, he'll run for shelter. other than being a jerk, he's doing well.
why do the tips of my fingers feel bruised?
my heel hurts cuz i wasted it with a big wooden rolly thingy at work.
no immediate future plans. i long to sleep. i can say that my dream interpretation about people attacking my reputation and mud slinging towards me came true at work. the evil harpies in the clothing department tried to make it look like i wasn't helping them. curse them. all who oppose me.
inner monologue? weirdo.
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| dreaming of you |
| 04.12.04 (5:00 pm) [edit] |
ok i had a dang weird dream. it involved being stuck in mexico somehow and in parts it looked like antarctica. i was being hunted by the marines. people were being shot, missiles were exploding. dogs were viciously trying to attack me. there was a girl who could lay in fire and be ok. there was a crazy ride on a parachute. it was all so very weird. turns out this dream is very meaty on the interpretation and they all turn out to be the same thing, basically. it's all very meaty. here's a bit of some interpretations.
[b]DOGS[/b]
If the dog is vicious and/or growling, then it signifies some inner conflict within yourself.
[b]FIRE[/b]
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolizes destruction,
passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. To dream of that you are being burned by fire, indicates that your temper is getting out of control. Some issue or situation is burning you up inside.
[b]MUD[/b]
To dream that you are walking in mud, suggests that you are feeling weighed down by a situation, problem, or relationship. To dream that mud has gotten on your clothing, signifies that your reputation is being attacked and called into question. Consider the term "mud-slinging."
[b]CHASED[/b]
To dream that you are being chases, signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is
conquerable. It is often a metaphor for some form of insecurity. In particular, to dream that you are chased
by an animal, represents your own unexpressed and unacknowledged anger which is being projected onto
that animal.
[b]SNOW[/b]
To see snow in your dream, signifies your inhibitions, repressed/unexpressed emotions and feelings
of frigidity. You need to release and express these emotions and inhibitions. You may also be feeling
indifferent, alone and neglected.
so as you can see, i'm probably completely unstable. weird dream huh? so if you feel like interpreting yer dreams i go to www.dreammoods.com it's got a cool little dictionary and so far it's the most convieniet place to look up just how crazy you really are
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| pennyfeather pictures |
| 04.12.04 (12:53 am) [edit] |
like i guaranteed after i defeated my laziness, i've got pictures of nigel t. pennyfeather. it was hard to get semi good lighting and a good looking picture so i apologize for the hazy picture. also he was pretty freaked out of me pointing a big light at him and tapping his plastic world. he's quite the trooper and very photogenic. so i hope you and i enjoy these pictures. i don't have anything else to report for once.
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
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| Lord Nigel T. Pennyfeather (the T is for tim with an H "thim") |
| 04.11.04 (1:53 am) [edit] |
ladies and gentleman, i'm proud to present my newest pet. Lord Nigel T. Pennyfeather (the T is for tim with an H "thim") He's a firebellied toad. He's like lime green with black spots and orange on his undercarriage. He eats baby crickets and worms. (yer a monster!) He just kinda hangs around in the water and we saw him totally eat a crickett with his tongue. it was way cool and i'm happy to have him around. he's pretty active and i think he suits my environment perfectly. i'll take a picture of him when i'm not feeling quite so incredibly lazy.
we had a pretty productive day. besides me wanting to make myself explode with the madness and fiery rage deli girl can inspire in me. blowing us off once again for a birthday "date." and no, it's not her birthday. so i spent about half the day holding my breath and trying not to completely go postal or just plain mental. trying not to go crazy is hard. luckilly, the night ended fairly well with all of us laughing at my fav comedian brian regan. then i had to be shunned away cuz today is easter apparently and i have no plans at all and no dinners to attend. aren't i the special one? to me, today isn't easter. today is sunday at the masters. i love golf. the masters is an awesome tournament on an impossible course. i've got my money on the choker, phil mickelson. and that's all the jokes left in me. and none of this was a joke. and prolly not funny. but who cares? i don't hafta be funny all the time. i never signed a contract with any of you. but i always post in humor because i just don't fit anywhere else. it's always fun to laugh at somebody's life isn't it? i do it all the time.
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| you just haven't earned it yet, baby |
| 04.10.04 (7:29 am) [edit] |
long night at work. my dreams are quite vivid these days. i just hope they're not precognitive dreams that are predicting the future or something. cuz if that's so and the dreams come true i'll be the guy who kills osama bin laden and gets run over by his father in the same year. i hafta say the most real dream i had was the flood dream. i dreamt i was back at my old house i lived at when i was younger and the rain was just coming down. i looked out the window and the entire huge backyard was just all muddy water and i ran down into the basement to see the water filling in the windows and leaks everywhere. just in case yer wondering, here's what the dream dictionary interprets a flood as:
[b]FLOOD:[/b] To see a raging flood with its muddy debris, signifies that you will have much unsettling occurrences and tribulations in life. Your repressed emotions may be overwhelming you.
great, i thought i got over being crazy, i shall fight it. speaking of crazy, here's something not related to it at all. at work my shoe department looks like freakin crap. the day team screws up everything i do. they ruin my endcaps, they don't fill in shoes, they put shoes in the wrong place and blah blah blah. it sux. i've been invited to join the bosses from overnight and the bosses from the day team to explain what they need to do to fix shoes and make it look good again. i must look like i know what i'm doing. and whatever it is, i must be doing it right.
big day planned. i should get some sleep. i have some weird dreams to catch up on. don't you hate when yer all excited to sleep and have a dream but when you wake up you can't remember anything. bleh. it sux. but if all goes to plan, i should be dropping by the pet store today to find me a new pal. it's sad i have to buy my friends isn't it? and my friends can't even speak. and they live in a small plastic cage. we all have friends like this don't we?
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| might be stars |
| 04.09.04 (1:48 am) [edit] |
for the next little bit the blog colors will be in mourning of the dearly departed, finnius G. crab. (the G stood for goosh.) i hate you all for not caring about the crab. he was cool. on nights that i don't work, i really have just about nothing to do. you've seen all the websites, you've read all your books, you've watched all your movies. you can't call anyone cuz they're all asleep. my other friends are usually at work when i'm not and vice versa. you have to be extremely quiet so you don't wake up anyone. you have basically absolutely nothing to do. that crab was my refuge sometimes. you could just sit there and watch him scoot around and you wouldn't be bored. he had personality. though it was a bit of a 'sit there and not do much' kinda personality, he kept me entertained.
these days i find myself incredibly frustrated with life. it feels like you need to just explode or something less messy, but you're not sure at all what you can do. i have no idea what's on my mind. i know what i want, but i shall not tell you. i've never been one to set goals, cuz i'm quite pessimistic. but i've set my crappy goals and right now they're almost laughable when i think of what i have to do to get there.
why be an optimistic fool? being optimistic sets you up for the biggest disappointment ever. don't reach for the stars. how bout something realistic? don't say you can't do anything, cuz anyone can be stubborn enough to do something do-able. for example, choosing a mate. yer not gonna marry that super model of yer dreams. it's just not gonna happen. they only marry their nerd photographers. and hopefully, you won't end up with the village uggo with 2 teeth. you will prolly end up with someone you never thought you'd end up with. they may look good to some people and bleh to others, but it's a realistic goal. sure. i have no idea what i'm talking about anymore. i should ignore that entire last thing. in fact, i shall go for a walk and ban myself from writing for the duration of the night.
but before i go, let me try something here.
it is psosilbe taht you can raed tihs bcuase sarmt clolege polepe laerend taht you acsosaite miexd up wdros wtih the atcual wrod as lnog as the frsit and the lsat lteter mtcah. wreid, huh?
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| the queen is dead |
| 04.08.04 (12:32 am) [edit] |
i fulfilled all i planned on doing today. went golfing (did good) saw the passion (brutal, and when you say you saw the passion, you hafta say it all dramatic.) and i got to visit with friends (interesting) had a good walk around the block a few times and some fresh air and talked about ghosts and the breakdown of losers. it was quite a nice conversation and a fine use of my time. another thing that... oh holy crap... this just in.. breaking news from my tiny little room. everybody brace yourselves..
[b]FINNIUS G. CRAB (the g stands for goosh!) has died.[/b]
obviously i'm quite devastated by this, seeing as finnius was my only friend with a claw. we had some great time and experiences together. i feel honored to have been in the company of this fine creature. finnius, i'll miss you.
finnius g. crab (the g stands for goosh) march 2004 - april 2004.
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| real people are overrated |
| 04.07.04 (4:36 am) [edit] |
as tombo and i were working in the back room, a lady from the day team walks through and says hello to us. "hi." we both reply. she walks off into the distance. "you know that lady is also a black belt in tai kwon do?" tom asks me. (tom's a black belt, ye know) "oh really? can you beat her up?" i ask. with a sure face tombo confidently states "oh, i could rip her a new @ss."
that's basically my night at work summed up in a short paragraph. there's a few things piled up onto my little schedule. i have plans to golf 18 holes. see the passion. and hang out with the friend units. this is all crammed into 1 day. it should be kind of crazy. but it's not the things that are going on in my life that's on my mind. my brain has been going at 100mph lately just thinking about philosophical wonders and other things that sound important. not really, but actually it's been feeling rather creative. i'm liking scary ghost stories recently. but that's not what i'm talking about. i've been meaning to tackle a couple issues here. the first issue:
[b]Relationships:[/b] more specifically, other people's relationships. they bug the crap out of me. there's only a few people in my life who i believe deserve to be in a relationship. they should know who they are. but as for everyone else i see, i can't stand to see them. it seems to me these days girls are either picking the biggest prick in the world for their boyfriend or they're picking the lamest boring tool with absolutely no personality. what gives? and something else that seems to drive me completely more nuts. i've had girls and i know girls that compliment me and think i'm great and everything but i'm just not what they're looking for. i grow quite frustrated and confused. i know i'm insane, but i'm good enough aren't i? perhaps i should fluff out my hair, listen to dashboard confessional, wear khakis, and be a tool. then things will certainly change. oh and why are kids these days getting married at an extremely young age? i say get married around age 23 or so. you still have a huge chunk of your life to fight getting that divorce you know is on the horizon. why ruin your life by ending up divorced at such a young age? "but we're in love!" for those of you who think you're in love. let me quote something legendary musician morrissey (from the smiths) said to a screaming fan at his feet when the fan yelled "i love you!" at a concert. "you don't love me, you just think you do."
[b]Issue #2 KARMA:[/b] before we begin, let me explain what was explained to me when i began to tackle the issue of karma earlier. fate is basically something in the future in which you can't control from coming. fate is pretty much no good to me. you can control what's coming, usually. life is like a game of golf. you have the clubs, you just need to hit the right shot. fate isn't gonna make it so you get a hole in one or plunk your ball in the lake. your club you choose is gonna do that. OK. karma police say: "this is what you get when you mess with us." good lyrics to start us into karma. karma is the belief that the good or bad things you do will eventually catch up with you in the future. 3 words: ha ha ha. i disagree with this. it's closely intertwined with fate, if you really think about it. if you give a bum a dollar, he's not gonna go out and build up his business empire. he's gonna go buy cigarettes or alcohol then eventually break into your house one night and stab you with a soldering iron. there's people who have committed crimes and have gotten away with it, clean. look at jimmy hoffa. whoever did away with him got away with it. if you do bad things, you can prolly get away with it in this world. if you happen to believe in some kind of judgment day, then yer prolly screwed. just hope the act you did isn't super bad. if you do something good, yer not guaranteed to have good things happen to you. look at ned flanders in the episode "hurricane ned" he's the best guy in town but his house gets flattened by a hurricane. then the town tries to rebuild his house and it sucks. so there. there's your karma. live your life and hope that you don't get killed by a bum or have your house blown over by a hurricane. just don't go around believing that you are gonna have good luck cuz yer a nice person or believe that yer gonna have a piano fall on yer hed cuz you took a pack of gum when you were a kid. you have control over your life, too bad nobody cares about it.
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| aint it funny |
| 04.06.04 (4:11 am) [edit] |
no wonder these jelly beans were .99 cents, they suck. let's back up a little bit and explain how these things got to the surface of my tongue and why i keep putting them there. eww gross why are they all like this spicy flavor? spicy mint.. anyway, i never expect my day to go smoothly or be just a normal regular day. i woke up today with an aching back. i later found out from gum girlfriend's sister that i have a "tennis ball sized knot in it! that's big!" it's big, apparently. and it's sore. i did the work thing and on my way home i decided to drop by the grocery store for the essentials, mainly candy and orange juice. i knew something was gonna be a bit weird at the store. it all started when the graveyard checker asked if a bag of bananas and apples were mine. i replied with the hilarious statement of "nope. unfortuneately, i don't eat very healthy." she didn't change her expression at all! not even the polite "heh." i know it was crappy but at least throw me a "friggin" bone here. i then discovered that the checker lady was most likely crazy. cuz after she quicky dealed me out my change she then ran to the nearest coin machine with the biggest claw to dispense the cheapest of all stuffed animal toys. oh, and let's not forget our brief conversation concerning healthy foods. "eating healthy gives you cancer!" is what she tells me. "realllly?" i ask back with a confused smile. "yep, we all have cancer cells in us. it's healthy food that other kinda crap that activates it." she states. i have no reason to explain why any of those words spoken to me were pretty ridiculous.
that's the grocery store story. my life can never be normal. i'm like spiderman, except not cool. and i don't have super powers. i could say that my super power is having bizarre nightmarish dreams. like dreams where my dad runs me over with a car. or a dream where i shoot osama bin laden 3 times and he dies, but nobody gives a crap that i killed him. weird huh? i tell that dream to a girl at my work and she asks if i've considered "seeing a phychiatrist." in my dreams i'm either killing or being killed. it sucks. but something that doesn't suck is that i got my strokes concert tickets in the mail. so i'm happy. and i shall continue to live my strange life until that day of the concert. it will be good, once again.
and the dream interpretation of killing osama bin laden is simple (if you haven't already figured it out.) you see, he represents the shoe department at my store. i kill him off like i kill off shoes every night by totally owning them. and nobody cares that i kill him. just like nobody cares at work that i conquer such a difficult task. no respect i tell you!
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| i'm a cuckoo |
| 04.05.04 (6:46 am) [edit] |
despite having the most shoe boxes ever presented to a mortal human being, i overcame and conquered. i was quite thrilled to have help this time. and even better, 2 knowledgable shoe females and my best pal were the ones helping me. so let's backtrack just a little bit. i get to work today and it turns out that one of the "team leads" was quitting that day to go work at a big orange store, rather than a big red store. but nobody cares. we could barely understand his english anyway. so i decide to start spreading the word that i'm the new "team lead" and of course everybody just smirks and laughs a little bit, even i didn't believe myself. so a little later in the night a boss of mine walks up to me and sticks this thing to my name tag. well, just have a look at it for yourself.
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
don't get too excited. this is basically just a made up job for me to feel special. no raise, no nothing like that. basically, i think it just means i maybe get a little more freedom to make decisions as to what goes on in the shoe department. but i was told by the same boss in all seriousness that i had the qualities of a team lead if only i just knew when to shut up. heh.
it sucks when yer completely drained of all comedy. you really wanna say something humorous but sometimes there just isn't anything to say, and this saddens me. i will keep saying that i hate johnny cash and stanley kubrick. but i seem to have a reputation to be on the negative side of things. i wonder why this is so.. hmmm. ; i've been wondering about a few cereal mascots recently. you know how insanely cruel those horrible kids were to the tricks rabbit? and they were incredibly racist, not giving him cereal just cuz he was a rabbit. i would understand if he was a jerk or something, but he was a nice rabbit. well, he tended to be a little sneaky. but don't we all tend to be a little sneaky at times? i never seem to see any cereal commercials anymore. why is that? and for some reason i'm picturing in my head that every cereal commercial was all about people trying to get to the cereal. either it was being witheld by the mascot or the mascot was going after the cereal. was there any character mascot that just hung out and ate cereal? that'd be my kind of advertising campaign.
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| country house |
| 04.03.04 (11:46 pm) [edit] |
i'm currently on my mini weekend vacation up north (blossoming farm town USA with a total of 7 dollar stores and counting!) visitng my brother+wife. it's been quite satisfying. golfed yesterday (one of the worst rounds of my life) and i golfed today (not too hot of a round, but getting back on track.) what else have we done? watched a few movies, gorged ourselves on meat, flew kites, ate candy, more movies. yes, a weekend of junking out i'd say. it's all worth it. and yes, the 3 weiner dogs are just the best dogs ever.
so nothing to rant about. i'm in a fine mood. i've made some revisions to the "scary" script and i think i've done a good job making it "scarier." however, i've only received a donation of $1.00 from my HILARIOUS brother. isn't that funny? sending a dollar... yeah i'm being a bit sarcastic, but all the cash helps (no name in the credits for that mooch!) if you're thinking about making a donation but need further help making up your mind, just send me a message on here with yer email and i'll send you the whole thing if you want.
i wish i had something funny. but this keyboard is driving me nuts. and the lack of music is driving me nuts. or maybe it's the excessive amount of ridiculous country music my brother is constantly listening to that drives me nuts. but like i said, i'm in a fine mood and usually things aren't funny unless you're ranting about them. so let's just say that i hate anime and johnny cash and bob dylan. there, there's yer funny. (cuz i'm serious. :)
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| shadows of my dark star |
| 04.01.04 (11:29 pm) [edit] |
i'm starting my good 2.5 day streak with my dad in town to visit me and stuff. we're going to see my brother+his wife up north and all of that. we plan to golf and hang out and put up a fence in the backyard and other manly stuff. it'll be a cool weekend. so yes. that's not funny. but who cares. it's artsy this time! and when i say artsy here's where i show you a part of my script i've written for my scary movie. of course it needs a revision or 2 or who knows how many, it's in the works and i plan on turning it into a future project.
so as requested by popular demand, i present to thee all an excerpt taken from my soon to be indie film "SHADOWS"
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The GIRL leads her BROTHER downstairs to the basement room.
GIRL
Here you are, sir. Your luxury suite.
BROTHER
Sweet getup, i'm digging the old school sheets.
GIRL
Sorry, no mint on the pillow. I'll talk to you tomorrow morning. Goodnight.
BROTHER
Night!
The GIRL wanders back up the stairs to her place on the couch. The BROTHER puts on his sweatpants and leaves on his undershirt. He turns off the light and lays in the bed.
BROTHER
Oh wait, forgot to inspect for monsters under the bed.
He mockingly leans over to look under the bed and nearly has a heart attack when he sees 2 white glowing circles underneath looking back at him. He shoots up out of his bed and runs to the door and turns on the light. He walks back to his bed and slowly peeks back under
for a closer inspection. There isn't a single item underneath the bed. He gets back to his feet
with a confused look on his face. He turns the light off and gets back into bed.
BROTHER (a bit unsettled)
I shouldn't have ate that burrito from that gas station in the middle of nowhere.
He drifts away into a gentle sleep but is awakened with a startle in the middle of the night. He hears a quiet laugh coming from somewhere in the room.
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ok. if you liked what you just read, you'll like what you read next even more. it's the part where i beg for your generous charitable donations. i've set up quite a nice looking paypal button on the right side of the page and as you all know, making movies costs a little bit of money. apparently there's lots of stuff to pay for: actors, food, lighting, make up, cameras, editors, and all kinds of other junk. so please please please please please feel free to send me any kind of money to help contribute to this awesome project. and hopefully if we can get all the money put together i'll send a videotape of the thing to anyone who pays over a certain amount i haven't decided yet. and yes, you'll get your name in the credits if you support the film. and i promise and swear to you that if i get any money i'm not gonna use it to do anything except put it towards the film. and if the whole thing falls apart, you'll get your dough sent right back to you. so please help out and stuff. it's gonna be awesome, i promise that.
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