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| the tain |
| 05.31.04 (10:40 pm) [edit] |
i shall write this while it's still fresh in my head.
the decemberists outdid themselves. they played at this place called the lo fi cafe, which actually isn't a cafe at all. it's a big empty room with old school maroon-ish colored carpet. it prolly holds about 500 people. we were right up against the stage and ready to go. the first opening band were called the places. they had a talented guy from new york and some girl who was trying to be kurt cobain. the second band was the long winters, they were fun and improved some funny stuff.
enter the decemberists. let's fill you in on some of the instruments on stage: an upright bass, an accordian, drums (complete with gong) guitars, weird synthesizers, and other random things that make sounds (i.e. xylophone, pedal steel slide guitar.) dang they put on a show. we even spoke a few words to the guy. he responded to my question of the new song he was playing. it was called 'the kingdom of spain' and when my friend said that the last place they played was crowded, he agreed but also brought up the story of seeing a campfire outside the gig. at the end of the show they played a funny cover of a fleetwood mack song, then they played this total pirate song. one of the guys from the band had this HUGE bass drum thingy strapped to him and he was smashing it walking through the middle of the crowd. i didn't know who to watch. then lastly, they played this awesome awesome awesome cover of 'ask' by the smiths and they totally slowed it down and it was perfect. i didn't hear a couple songs i wanted to hear, but it's ok cuz we'd heard em the first show. if they're coming through your town, i highly reccomend you spend the 10 bux to go check em out.
www.decemberists.com
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| untitled |
| 05.31.04 (5:41 am) [edit] |
i feel like i've been pulled apart by horses.
only the decemberists will put to rest all my aches.
i'm the kind of guy who leaves the scene of a crime.
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| lucky bag |
| 05.30.04 (2:40 am) [edit] |
"he has a big boy crush on action jackson."
i just finished the last book from his dark materials. oh so very good. but i worry a little bit about my.... more religiously inclined pals i'm making read. it deals a little bit with theology and questioning authority and stuff, and i hope they don't get offended or something. but hey, it's fiction.
though my pal had to work last nite (i hate being technical about time. i'd rather say he worked tonight.) we hung out before he had to. we didn't get to have much fun, he'd been doing chores around the house all day and stuff. all we really gotta do was gather round a leaky sink and wash like 5 dishes. then he had to go. so the only person left awake to hang with was the sophmore boy who apparently has a big boy crush on me. he wants to die his hair black. i think it's hilarious. so i figured i'd blow his mind and hang out with him for the nite. one thing that fascinates younger kids, is when you get to drive somewhere. he just got his driver's license but his parents still won't let him drive. so i told him to get his golf clubs and we set off for some night time driving range fun. surprisingly, like 5 people were at the joint. who's afraid of rain? just a drop once in a while. we both had a bucket of golf balls and naturally, i owned his golf game (along with the other foolios on the top deck.) my putting game was razor sharp, but i have to admit the kid was a little bit better with his chip shots (most of the time.) it was hilarious cuz he was all nervous around me, messing up words and stuff. he was trying to swing all hard and stuff too. heh.
i dropped him off at his house and sped away (sorry kid, no ice cream.) he already claimed to have eaten 8 bowls of cereal and a can of soup. he's one of those kids that can best be described in a lyric. "here comes hot johnny again. that boy can ride the lightning, then come back and eat again." basically, he's an active jock teenager. ha. i drove home and had a good conversation that i had to cut a little bit short, cuz i heard sirens outside.
i walked outside and down the road there was like 2 fire trucks, and 5 cop cars outside this apartment complex by my house. i couldn't tell what the crap was happening, maybe a grease fire or something. didn't look like anybody died, but ya know. the little kid instinct is to run and see what the flashing lights are for. i got back inside and remembered that i should be at a bonfire that apparently was taking place, despite the cold and rain-ish. so yeah. wish i coulda made a cameo, but i don't make that big of a splash unless it's showing up at my pal's house to impress the younger kids with my new gun or something stupid i bought or whatever. you can't fight what you are. me, a savior among dorky friends. i feel right at home.
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| mr. brightside |
| 05.29.04 (4:31 am) [edit] |
the night still isn't over.
been up a good portion of the night powering through the last of my book. and since it's the weekend, it's job searching time. i hafta admit it's just a tiny bit disheartening looking through the paper. how does anyone get anywhere in life when they start out? everything requires like 5 yrs experience in blah blah blah. what i think is funny is the ads for like the worst job in the world. it's like "dirty job 50+ hours per week must work saturdays and sundays and holidays. - oh and you should prolly be able to speak at least 2 other languages."
the summer-ish plan is moving right along. i'm fully committed to it. rooney&jet, here i come. wow, what a lame line. but i don't care. you don't care about anything when it's free. we get to see a dang good concert on the 4th of july, we get to go to some egytian museum for free, and whatever else that lands in our lap. but before all that, i must get the basics on how the crap you get around an airport by yerself.
you tend to grow anxious, being confined to your room. already had a bite to eat, too tired to read anymore, no movies to watch, music constantly going but bouncing off your brain, what's there left to do but lay in bed? blog. ha. when i'm bored, i try to bring everybody down with me. if you ever get bored of me, all my links are a way better place to be.
something that sort of bugs me is when you have a great band to listen to, but when you SEE them, the lead singer isn't playing an instrument. my friend and i were debating about julian casablancas from the strokes. he writes all the songs. but my friend is skeptical that he can play guitar. because he's never seen him playing one. it's true that we haven't seen him playing a guitar, but c'mon. you can tell the songs all come from the same brain. even liam gallagher from oasis shakes a tambourine once in a while to make it look like he's in on the song writing. oasis rules!
run along boy, you're free now.
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| dreaming of you |
| 05.28.04 (2:45 am) [edit] |
i've only flown on a plane one time.
just once. and that was last year, thanks to my gracious brother and sister who took me along to california for my graduation present. it was my first family vacation thing in like 8 years or something. the funniest part of the trip was when we went to this grocery store called "ralph's." and we were buying all this junk food and the lady goes "do you have yer ralph's card?" and we're like "ummm... until this day we didn't know ralph's existed." so no, we didn't have a ralph's card on us. think of the savings we missed out on!
on the surface, it looks like i have a lot of plans cooking, but really the day to day is monotonous. however, the decemberists will be here on the 31st and i'll get to see them again. when i saw em in march i think it was, they completely shocked me. what an awesome show. the best part was when the had a guitar duel in the middle of a song and he was armed with his martin acoustic guitar. heh. and they were playing them behind their heads and stuff. it was a very good night.
tombo and i were comparing dreams we've had. i won with the crazyness. his dream was something about seeing his childhood house and going in and it was completely empty and just felt weird. my dream was being in a knife fight with boxcutters and i got shanked like 5 times but luckilly, i pulled out my boxslayer and slashed the dude's arm. obviously, i won the fight. but when it was over, i got fired by my boss. did i already mention this dream? seems like i have... hrmmm.
the world is in order for the time being. coco can see again, hot blogs are back to normal, and i can see how many other sad people are online the same time as me. i would celebrate, but i accidently threw out my party hat with some old clothes.
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| evil |
| 05.26.04 (10:55 pm) [edit] |
saw shrek 2. the 3 of us that went all agree that the first one was better. though i laughed pretty good at a couple scenes involving the gingerbread man in this one. overall, the 1st one is funnier though.
i don't have much to say. so i want you all to gather round the fire while i tell you some secrets of life. i will tell all you people of the evil that lurks in the most obscure corners in life. the little evils that you don't ever notice. they may appear harmless, or even good. but they're not!
[u][b]evil #1.[/b][/u] the half beard man. this is just so horrific and evil that it shouldn't ever have to be viewed by young eyes. however, i'm providing the smallest picture i could make, cuz it scares the crap outta me.
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
[u][b]evil #2.[/b][/u] the evil women at my work who i hatefully refer to as "the softline harpies." for those of you who aren't familiar with the termy "harpy" it was like this mythological creature bird lady thing who hung around the gates of the underworld and they knew everything bad you did, and they would harass you for it. i think that's how it goes at least. so yeah, these 3 women are super evil. they're the main source for gossip at my work. they mock bosses and coworkers behind their backs, spread nasty rumors, and speak about as rough as weathered sailors. they're also super selfish and only like you if you're doing their work for them. pictured below, is a harpy. i apologize for the small size, but it was the best i could find.
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
[u][b]evil #3.[/b][/u] this is one of those things that's not evil by itself, but when combined with other non evil things, becomes a force to be reckoned with. what is it? my chili cheese dip. that's right. don't adjust your screen, let me explain. i learned this evil from my dad, actually. i was about 14-15 and we had just moved into a new place. we didn't have much food, so he combined some of the stuff we had into a mix. it's a simple but deadly combo. velveeta cheese, a can of chili, and some brown sugar. oh my is this a tasty treat, but the results are soooo bad. you'll wind up on the floor with the most blindingly painful stomach ache and you'll still want to go back for more. the recipe is a foul temptress. you can also make it worse by dipping nacho cheesier doritos rather than just tortilla chips. and no, i don't have a picture of this cuz i don't dare make it ever again.
so there you have it. 3 evils you should be aware of. i hope i have enlightened some individuals, cuz i know i've enlightened myself. yeah that doesn't make sense.
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| st. james infirmary blues |
| 05.26.04 (3:25 am) [edit] |
"i'm going fishing tomorrow"
that's all i heard tombo say tonight at work. tombo has a tendancy to repeat himself a lot. for example, if you say you went out with a girl. he'd start every conversation of the night with "so... how'd this date thing go for ya?" or something related to it. i remember his first night at work and the way we met. he said something like "oh, this box goes here." to me and walking past him giving a quick glance i said "oh does it?" he thought my horrific sarcasm was the funniest thing ever. he kept going "oh does it? haha! yer a kidder! shha!" and so on...
oh coco - she had some iffy news. apparently she can't see crap out of her left eye. just all black. kinda scary eh. i'm a bit worried. hope all is well. we shall see.
i've been invited to go to this annual out of school bbq at a friend's house this saturday. i think i'm electing not to go for a few reasons. i didn't go to school this year, so i won't have anything to burn. i don't dig roasted marshmallows. i might run into someone i used to know, and that'd prolly be awkward. and i just generally don't fit in nicely with new crowds. i'm a bit of an outsider.
cancelled a round of golf and i'm gonna go see shrek 2 instead. too tired to golf anyway. 20 hours of work in 2 days. bleh. then a tiny little crappy day to make it 3 days in a row. but kind of in a work type jam. if i transfer to the other big red store closer to home, their night shift is a better time. 4am-11am. but apparently there's so little of work you only go till 8am. that's just not enough hours. if i go to the day team i'll take 2 dollar pay cut and that just won't work. woe is me. still looking for something to come along.
i should prolly be doing important things now. oh, before i forget. i know a tennis player who just graduated and i must applaud their hard work. if only i was that motivated. speaking of motivation, i've learned i'm to write the family newsletter this month, and that always sucks cuz you hafta think of "news" that happened to everyone and well, nothing really happens.
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| new slang |
| 05.24.04 (4:56 am) [edit] |
going grocery shopping whenever i get off work is a bleh kind of experience. yer all tired and dirty and the only person in the store in the middle of the night. in today's case, it was early morning. so not so bad. places with boxes on every part of the floor just need to close at night. it's tricky getting around the grocery store in the state of emergency it's usually in overnight.
turns out i'll hafta work when the shins come back through town, it's ok though cuz i've already seen em. but i totally need somebody to cover me on the 31st when the decemberists come through, cuz i will not miss them. they totally blew me away the first time, i'm hoping they'll be just as cool the next time around. also looking forward still to seeing rooney and jet for free in july. i will speak of that later, when the plan is finalized.
vacuum tombo, the one who owns the kirby G5 series vacuum that ONLY cost $1750 dollars has made himself a new little purchase. a STEAM CLEANER that ONLY cost $300 dollars. when will it all end? "you gotta pErtect the investment." (ha! i totally just nailed the utah accent in text form. i myself sound like a cowboy surfer for some reason. that's just my accent though. my actual voice sounds like a weed whacker.)
besides my legs being tired, a small mishap at work. the only way to really describe it is that i basically crucified my wrist on a metal wire. good thing it was clean and not all rusty and crappy. i've got a nice tiny chunk of flesh removed from my wrist as a neato souvenier that still hurts. good thing it didn't need stitches *phew* they'd really be pissed at me.
i'm off to go prOtect my investments. until next time...
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| smile like you mean it |
| 05.22.04 (10:51 pm) [edit] |
nothing at all.
i did nothing today. my hair hasn't been done in 2 days. it looks like it's exploded. but somehow, i can sorta pull it off. it sorta feels like i write the same thing every day. this isn't a day to day report of what i'm doing and what i plan to do. i have lots of shifty plans, but those are for when i'm ruling the earth *cough* i mean..
forgot to mention we got to talk to goosh. turns out he wasn't raped and murdered by vigilante eskimos up in alaska. he's alive and well and i can tell he misses the ol gang. nobody really misses him, but we still haven't found a fitting "3rd" to hang with us. you just need that 3rd person for an extra opinion or just someone to team up on and bash. goosh was a good third, except he's kinda pretentious. i found his advice solid, and his hitting on every girl to be hilarious. since he's 115lbs soaking wet. he promises to bring me back a knick knack from alaska, i'm hoping for some kind of animal carcass.
other than that, i won't say what i'm planning to do the next day of my life. it's just a small report this time. i'm told to go see shrek 2 as soon as i can. oh that gingerbread man. i finished reading 'the bad beginning' by lemmony snicket guy. i didn't like it very much. there's not much to it. it's a very simple, predictable-ish twisted story. it's gonna be weird to be a movie cuz well, the main bad guy in it is like super bad. child abuser crap guy. but jim carrey should make him quite quirky and light hearted (hopefully) otherwise these movies are gonna be jacked up. it was hard to get through the book cuz HIS DARK MATERIALS is so much better. way way better. the artemis fowl series is also really cool. it's fun to read! :p
oh and my congratulations go out to CAPTAIN for making it to featured blogs. once again, evil rocky has screwed me over on being featured for the 3rd time. but it's ok, i've learned to expect that from our grand host. everyone knows of the ongoing war i've had with him. now, back to my evil plans..
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| we have no power in the air |
| 05.21.04 (11:49 pm) [edit] |
the battle's on the ground
took the gun out for some heavy action today. we didn't have any kind of specific game, per say. but i got to shoot some people and made em sqeal in pain. simon's sister is hilarious. she's almost the total opposite of me. she's like all happy and appreciates the little things in life "ooo! look at the moon!" stuff like that. the team opposing us (the good guys) shot her right in the middle of her forehead. it was sooo funny. she was just sitting there and goes "hey, do i have a mark on my forehead?" she was on my team, cuz i refused to have to shoot her. but i ended up shooting her a couple times in retaliation for shooting me.
don't you love the taco bell timer? what's the rule on it? free taco after a certain amount of time? this small thing in life makes me recall the insane story the crazy guy at work was telling us. now, keep in mind this came from the guy who had a real plan to murder 2 security guards who tazered the piss out of him for being threatening. he's totally mr. insane conspiracy. he was saying something like "american has concentration camps! we're all gonna be in there sooner or later. it's just a matter of time. i've seen em!" do i need to say more about this guy? he's an idiot. i don't see myself stuck behind a chain link fence. we all like that taco bell timer too much. i don't know how these 2 subjects are related. but i enjoyed combining them together. and it's borderline political-ish, so i'll stop. heh.
no real plan for tomorrow. maybe i shall venture out to see shrek 2. "yer a monster!" classic line. andddd that's about it, yeah. if you didn't like this post, yer free taco is in the mail, i swear.
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| in the lost and found |
| 05.21.04 (3:26 am) [edit] |
ok time to write. i've had some time to work and lay around and stuff. is it bad or funny or good that i can sleep whenever i want? the doorbell rang at 930am this morning, i jumped out of a complete sleep and ran to the door. the package that layed on the porch had my name on it.
the gun came.
i tested it out for about 90 minutes and then i dunno, layed back in bed cuz i wasn't satisfyed with my sleep from the night just feeling incomplete. in and out of conciousness, answering phone calls in my sleep and stuff. i fully came to around 7pm. out the door to go visit the sister unit and hang for a little bit before work. and that's where i'll end that day.
i analyze stuff to much. i'm like seinfeld scrutinizing the world, except not funny.
i hope today is entertaining. shooting the gun and doing the whole test out thing. days in the future might be ok too. captain and i are gonna be shooting an artistic video in the near future and i hope it's cool. well, we'll shoot if we win the contest. i hafta keep it kinda hush hush. i won't go back and edit any of this. i think it's funny to see mistakes you make when yer tired and typing. it's a dangerous combo. the thoughts come out all disconnected.
ok done. i look forward to our next monologue.
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| length of love |
| 05.19.04 (11:23 pm) [edit] |
step into my office, baby.
what an ok day i had. though, it cost money to usually have a good time doing things other than hanging around being bored, it was money very, VERY well spent. i 'went out' with HIS sister. though neither of us officially called it a date, we all know it was. lunch, movie, date. ha. she has this "rule" about not dating younger guys. though it wasn't explained very well. the explanation i think i heard was something like "all my boyfriends have been older than me." so yeah. we'll see about that. i'm not being optimistic. it's only a matter of time before my heart is squished in her hands and i'm back to square 1. (on an uplifting note, my sis received positive feedback from her)
we went to a mexican food joint. giving her directions was hilarious. i got this text on my phone that said "is it with the 3 guys on top that move back and forth?" it is... 3 mechanical hombres swaying left to right. then we went and saw troy. yes i finally saw it. my thoughts? the last samurai was better. i had zero emotional attachment to any of the characters in the movie, so i wasn't very moved. however, the action was super cool. but the movie seemed a tiny bit longer than it shoulda been. 4 outta 5 stars.
my plan now? it's in the works. i plan to just go to work and brag that i hung out with an absolutely beautiful girl who laughed at my razor sharp wit. (anyone remember alien in a can?) i swear that's all the news i have. i'm still waiting for my cool air gun to come in the mail and yeah. back to my normal antics. now i just need some momentum.
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| we're so very precious, you and i: some thoughts about shoes, guns, and girls |
| 05.18.04 (3:12 am) [edit] |
we have a golden rule.
the rule is simple. we don't talk about work when we're not at work. there's certainly time for work related conversations where we trash the crap out of our bosses and coworkers, but there's no individual ranting about work when yer off the clock. when i blog about work is that breaking the rule? naw, i do what i want.
it was a little bit different at work. i got to do toys and like seasonal type summer stuff. so basically, just really crappy bulky furniture stuff and crappy looking flower pots, and poisonus weed killers. but no, that still didn't save me from the wrath of shoes. the girl who did shoes, well... didn't really do shoes. she had barely done anything in the 2.5 hours she was in it. so when i came over there and saw what she hadn't done, i was bleh. let's just say i ended up doing 6 carts of shoes in 30 minutes. which is almost unheard of. nobody believed me, at least. i have nothing to prove.
there's an unofficial plan floating around that i'm supposed to go see troy on wednesday. i'll be sure to tell the world that soon to be uncomfortable story.
here's what my future airsoft bb gun thingy looks like.
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
everyone asks me who coco is. the answer is this: she's a way hot chick who totally digs the music i love. we have the exact same taste in virtually everything and for some reason she's one of the very few who thinks i look good, even when not in a suit. go here to get to know her better. yer all just jealous :p
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| car radio |
| 05.17.04 (6:31 am) [edit] |
oh so very sore. i guess that's what happens after a 10 hour shift and right at the end of it, yer commanded to push in like 100 shopping carts by yourself. my precious legs. oh the pain! has this caused me to lose any kind of interesting story? prolly. there was the most shoes EVER EVER EVER at work last nite. i'm not exaggerating. but they gave me 2 helpers. my best pal mr. "go-when" and his secret crush that he won't admit to, mrs. k (if you spell her name with a c, she's unhappy.) so yeah. my 2 good work pals and i totally spanked shoes and finished at a half decent time. i tried to get them out of there in time, but my boss didn't spare them and they hadda stick around and help a lil bit more before they made their great escape.
oh man, forgot to bring my book in from the car. i'm currently reading THE SUBTLE KNIFE. book #2 of 3 in the [i]his dark materials[/i] series. it's way cool. that whole series beats the crap out of wimpy harry potter. my car is a peculiar thing. it's been dubbed "gunship grey" by a wise human i know. it's funny looking. it's just got this black primer and no hub caps or anything. so just black tires and dark windows. so there's no real defining features on it. the inside is crazy. it used to be my brother's car and he's obsessed with blue and white. so the inside has all this blue velvet vinyl type material stuff covering bits everywhere and the entire dash and knobs and junk are all painted blue. it's a crazy car and it will surely live forever. oh and it gets freak gas mileage. the ironic thing is that it used to have this HUGE stereo system in it, but now it's just reduced to like a cd player and 2 speakers in the front. so it's got some weak sound when i like to crank up the music hardcore. enough to at least drown out the singing along. (which i find fun and sometimes actually ok, but other people would prolly find horrible and disturbing.)
that's all. i need to be clean now. then it's off to the cryogenic chamber to be regenerated for another day, another car ride, another nite with my shoes, another tv show to watch with my sister, another phone call to check in with someone i know, another page in a great book, another page in the book of my life.
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| lazy gun |
| 05.15.04 (11:52 pm) [edit] |
turns out my night was way fun. after all the waking up stuff, i went over to my friend's house, determined to have some kind of gun war with the neighborhood kids. we rallied the troops (no pun intended) and set up outside. we had a bunch of these bb gun things called airsoft guns. they are basically just like a spring action handgun that shoot plastic BBs. we set up teams and were doing like a capture the flag type game. naturally, my team completely dominated and destroyed all in our path. i shot 3 people in the neck/cheek and the greatest shot of the day was when i shot this kid in the crotch from about 10 feet away. i got outta there with only like 5 pea sized welts on my arms, and maybe a couple on my back i don't feel. it was way fun. i felt like a kid again. too bad i'm a bit allergic to mother nature. must be the crappy perfume she wears.
as for my personal life, i'm still alive aren't i? relax people. yes, i have a lot on my mind. it's a phase. it's supposed to happen earlier in life but i have it now. it's the time in life where you start to question things you've been told all yer life. it's in no way a rebellion and it's nobody's fault cuz nothing's happened yet. it's just me wondering why things are the way they are. sorry if i get a lil deep sometimes, but those giant squid just fascinate me. wow, i really need to stop writing analogies. pretty soon i'll be speaking in parables. after that, who knows. oh, and somebody please punch me in the face if i ever charge a family member for some kind of professional service. say, if i become an attorney, i'll hook up all my family members and crap for free. it's the ethical thing to do. a guy's gotta make money, but you just hafta draw the line sometimes and lighten up.
i had a brief conversation about peter pan. the deal was this: they could fly if they thought of a happy thing, right? in a way, wouldn't that be bad? (what was peter pan's happy thing? by the way.) what if you got a pair of pants for yer birthday or something. yer like "oh sweet, some pants! no! i dun wanna fly!" it's messed up. they'd hafta walk around thinking about sad stuff or nothing or else they'd start to fly. so ha! take that peter pan, i've exposed a plot hole! and i'm bringing down neverland with me.
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| i didn't understand |
| 05.15.04 (4:49 am) [edit] |
every now and then life throws you a greased up slippery curve ball. you don't wanna be thrown this cuz naturally, it's hard to hit outta the park. what the crap am i talking about? i'm getting to it. i'm just being kind of abstract in trying to communicate my point. my point is this: do you hit that curve ball or do you not even swing at it at all for fear of striking out? maybe this isn't the best analogy. i'm talking about making decisions that are presented to you. who's to say what the right answer is? yer parents? yer church? yer friends? is it even possible that we have agency if there's already supposedly a right answer in the big book? sure we have agency, but then there's also guilt that can easily come along with your choices. should you have to go through life feeling like you've been programmed to make decisions that you don't necessarily wanna hafta make? woe is us. it's pretty deep isn't it?
tonight at work was a short night that felt like about 800 hours long. instead of being trapped in my shoe prison, i was moved to my familiar grocery land. (that's the place before i was banned to shoe country for the rest of eternity.) but keep in mind, groceries drove me crazy too, but maybe not as much as a dang shoe box. so i did that stuff and avoided the other 2 guys with me. i don't think we woulda had a good conversation together. they were kosher to me when we had to meet. "a bucket of ice cream is $7.29!" i say. that got them started on crying about other prices of things in the world. anything to take away the silent awkwardness, and not the good kind of awkward.
i wanna see troy pretty bad. and no, troy isn't a dude. how come like nobody has heard of this movie? geeze. the thing is: i don't really have anyone to go with. and i'll never go to a movie by myself cuz that just sucks. so i fear i'll hafta wait till later to see it, and that's just crappy. bleh. my sis says i'll love it. i hope that's the case. just when do i get to love it? we shall see, i suppose. if i were in charge of a kid, i'd make him/her/it read books rather than watch cartoons or whatever. the kid is allowed to watch arrested development, scrubs, and the news. oh and viva la bam. but other than that, they hafta hit the books. reading A TON while i was young totally increased my vocabulary. though i talk like a retarded cowboy surfer or something. i speak like that. bleh screw proper grammar! sometimes... anyway, that's my advice. oh and if it's possible you can also try to protect and shield the child from ever seeing one of those evil diagrams with the guy who's half shaved. the evil half beard guy. *shudder* you know what i'm talking about. so very evil. who am i to give advice? i can't even force myself to boil noodles for macaroni and cheese, let alone help someone live their life.
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| a boy's best friend |
| 05.14.04 (4:49 am) [edit] |
some interesting developments. i dunno if i'm gonna get fired or not. i still want outta there as soon as i can find a rescue ship off the freakin island. oh i love my horrible, horrible analogies. it was kinda funny at work. they talked to me about hurting my foot and blah blah blah i don't care, as long as somebody besides me pays for it. and then after that i go and do work stuff. i'm working with my friend in the baby food isle. the minor boss walks by and sees we're being productive and having a good conversation while doing that, so naturally, happiness is unacceptable in the big red store. "go over and do plastics." she commands me. "no." i say back. "go and do plastics now." she replies. "naw, i'm gonna stay here and do this. plastics will get done when we're done here." i confidently state. and on top of that i say "why are you trying to seperate us? this isn't kindergarten." my friend laughs (cuz being disrespectful to authority figures is funny to see their reactions.) "either go and do plastics or i guess you can go home." she says trying to maintain her composure. eh i guess she struck a soft spot there. if i had enough hours already in the week, i woulda said, yeah i'll just go home. screw yer oppression! i guess i'm a safety hazard now at work too. i'm a step away from being put into a giant plastic bubble. and yes, the bubble will most likely be sound proof so nobody can hear my red store heresy.
i guess that's most of it. i have a meeting with a day time boss person to discuss my future i suppose. i really really don't care much anymore bout being at that place. oh, i remember now. turns out my brother who's just a bit older than me and his wife are gonna be having a kid in january. we didn't really believe him, but i suppose it's all true. his wife doesn't typically play along with jokes, especially jokes about being pregnant, that'd be a mean joke. thinking of kid names is fun. hanging around kids is different. i hope i can be quite the uncle. i know my brother and his wife will be a funny parenting duo. but if raising a human is like raising a weiner dog, their kid will just graze around in the yard and sleep in the sun. and there will only be a few accidents here and there. that's what the bottle of resolve is for. but yeah, like i said, about 90% of children are afraid of me. the other 10% don't know i exist. i'm way worse than the crappy boogy man. i'm not very compassionate towards children. i just talk to em like they're regular people and they have no idea what i'm talking about. "so billy... how are your stocks going?"
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| tomorrow comes today |
| 05.13.04 (2:01 am) [edit] |
oh where do i even begin. i'm so very tired. very long day. woke up at like 9am so i'm at like i dunno a 17 hour day here. it feels like my 100 hour day. i can't seem to really relax. job worries and other things that burden my skull. i can't be very specific for the people who care, would freak and ask questions. that's the problem with a public journal, no privacy. heh. always having to explain what's wrong. always having to explain coco. always defending yourself. it keeps you on your toes.
besides the horrible running around poking about for jobs, i had a great time shooting some clips for a commercial. i got to hold the big light thing and laugh at stupid jokes. so it was cool to spend some good quality time with captain J. (we should all vote for him on featured blogs, shouldn't we?)
here's some stuff i found out today. also some stuff i'd just like to point out in general:
1. my car keys can unlock my car from the outside, but they can't lock the dang thing.
2. that 1 odd stoplight by your house will always turn red.
3. jobs get filled about the millisecond they're posted.
4. you can never get comfy when you need to.
5. life is a tiny bit better if you have a familiar face to rely on.
6. i prolly buy too much fast food. (it's ok, i typically eat about 1 meal a day. if i'm lucky, i get tasty snacks too!)
7. the great gatsby is without a doubt the worst piece of crap ever "written."
8. bakeries smell good even on the outside.
9. people in utah drive either 10-15mph under the speed limit or 10-15mph over. oh and they're morons on the road too.
10. your phone will ring at the worst time with the last person you wanna talk to, or else never ring at all.
oh i just want the phone to ring at the right time, hit the green lights, be in the right place at the precise moment, be comfy when i need to be, and have a decent meal once in a while. is that so hard to ask? who am i asking? oh gotta go, i hear ringing.
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| the hard way |
| 05.11.04 (11:57 pm) [edit] |
greetings to all. it's quite good to be back. my freakin lame net connection has been, well... lame. you realize how much you depend on a net connection when you don't have it. and yeah well let's just say i got a LOT of reading done instead of paying bills and such.
speaking of paying bills. looks like i'm prolly gonna be getting "terminated" woohoo. cool huh? wondering why? cuz i kicked a box at work, resulting in the spraining of my foot and my work doesn't think they should have to do the worker's comp thing cuz i didn't officially file a report within 24 hours. well, how should i know i need to file a report and ask their permission to go see a doctor. i didn't know my foot was officially effed up until like 2 days later when it still hurt. you know how when you hurt something and go "well, if it still hurts tomorrow i'll do somethin about it." so yeah. hrmm maybe this is what i need to officially make my life more difficult. what's so difficult working part time and lounging around half the week? it's a lot harder on me than it looks. there's lots of other behind the scenes factors that leave me completely exhausted by friday. no, i'm not a superhero type crime fighter at night, i work at nights. oh and the crappiest thing is that my friend needed a ride home from work and i was his ride, but NOOOO they had to send me home early as punishment cuz they couldn't take any risks. pshhh. screw them. screw the big red store!
with my day off tomorrow i'm going to scour the earth for the most standable day job i can find. it's hardcore now. i've never really been in the position when i've been supporting myself that i needed money, i've always been able to handle things ok on my own. but oi. need to be safe.
i've missed the blogging world. my brother and friend are rising on the big list. i'm quite happy for them. i've missed my coco, she's been away on a trip. it's just nice to be back with the world again, yet everyone tells me my mind isn't on this planet. - "i'm tired of following my dreams. i'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them LATER."
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| selling memories |
| 05.09.04 (8:37 pm) [edit] |
i know it's twice in the same day, and i usually don't do this cuz i'm out pretending that i have some sort of life. but why oh why does every single blog i visit talk about the exact same crap?
if this is your blog and you know it, stop reading right now. i'm gonna just give you an example i'm making up outta my head to show.
-"dear blog world. oooohhh i'm so ticked right now! actually, i'm prolly not ticked, just confused. i've been in love with him/her forever and they haven't even noticed me. why can't they just notice me? they're so cute! it's just so weird right now. cuz my ex boyfriend/girlfriend sent me a text the other day. i was almost over them but they had to remind me that they are still around! just leave me alone and let me get on with my life, would ya? i'm in love with this person now and it just feels so good to be moving on." -
yuck. bleh. why is this all i'm reading anymore? it's crap. why is everyone's life exactly the same drama garbage? why can't you be off kicking boxes and spraining feet or giving people weird nicknames or hating your roommates while being paranoid and having to fight off the mobs of people telling you yer depressed. pish posh! i write crap, but at least it's original.
i'm now setting my blog visiting rules that i think i'm gonna live religiously. if your blog contains any of this stuff, i'm prolly not gonna stick around and read it.
1. whining about your true love or your ex.
2. music. (how can you force someone to listen to yer music?)
3. ranting about the state of the world.
4. sex/personal stories like that. this just goes into the shock blog category. it's gross.
5. anyone who writes a FREAKING book. i can read for a lil while, but wow just don't write so much.
there. now that you know, let's all try to play by the rules.
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| this is the story of your red right ankle |
| 05.09.04 (10:34 am) [edit] |
ok. i went to the doctor person thing and it took forever. i gotta sit there and watch the clock and hang around. my doctor came in and she seemed pretty pissed, prolly cuz she was having to run around on a saturday fixing stupid people like myself. "tell me whappened." she asks me. ".... i kicked a box." i reply.
we go for x-rays and poking at my foot and stuff and she decides, after much deliberation and waiting, actually. that i sprained my foot or something. i get a lil wrap thingy and i'm told to stay off of it. this is exactly what i predicted too. oh and i don't hafta pay for it. i hafta go through worker's comp cuz i did it at work. heh. my boss is gonna love the sound of that.
so it was a long day yesterday. i hadn't slept in like 30 hours and i had a nice drug induced pain killer sleep. so it's weird i'm awake at this time right now. but i certainly popped the crap outta my back when i woke up. that was nice. and now i'm just gonna hang out and read today. i started my favorite 3 books again. his dark materials by philip pullman. 3 very good books. they're like harry potter except darker, and with shape shifting pets.
and we've posted the interview on the MEGALOMANIA BLOG go look.
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| just like fresh air |
| 05.08.04 (2:17 am) [edit] |
here i am, virtually bed ridden. my foot only really hurts when i hafta drive. ya know, the whole keeping yer foot kinda up and pushing on the gas. ugh. there's prolly somethin jacked up with it, i might hafta check into it tomorrow. however, i refuse to have a cast or crutches or something. that's just not possible to do. i'll lose my job, be forced out onto the street and before i know it, i'll be selling salsa for a living. (inside joke) gosh, i hope the wrong people don't read this. that could be so very bad. i mean no harm if i ever burn somebody, i get ripped on all the time and i don't care. i just cry myself to sleep every night.
tomorrow is van helsing manly monster killing movie day. who cares bout this movie when Captain's sister will be there to see it with us. i've only seen her once and that's all i needed to see to know i'd never have a chance with her ever ever ever. besides, everyone tells us it just wouldn't work. oh well. one can dream that it'd work for a lil while then you'd get yer heart crushed. heh. where was i? oh yeah, i'll letcha know how the movie turns out.
i'm also maybe planning to take a trip up north tomorrow to visit my brother. he and his wife are giving a talk in church on sunday and i wanna be there to laugh while they try to stall the time. giving a talk is easy, writing it is what sucks. and you can't be yourself and be all funny for 15 minutes on paper. so the talk mostly will come out boring, no matter who you are. unless you're dennis miller i guess. he's a dang good writer. my dad says he developed the wedding day photos and says there's some really good ones in there. i should get those to me in like 10 days or something. apparently there's some really good pictures of the new weiner dog puppy in there. we shall see. that's all for now.
p.s. this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.
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| some battleground |
| 05.07.04 (5:11 am) [edit] |
people have ceratin ways to blow off some steam. go chop some wood, go for a jog, write some poetry or something, talk to their highly expensive therapist. ME, i like to go medievil at work and beat the living crap out of big shoe boxes. it's not a shoe box itself, it's a big box that holds all the shoe boxes. when i get lots of shoes on a night i don't want a lot, i kinda lose it. tonight i chucked this box onto the pile and it fell off so i walked over to it and just started kickin it as hard as i could. (now, i do this when i'm alone so i don't look very crazy in front of everyone else) kicking things hard blows off some steam, i'll tell ya. oh yeah, it also jacks up yer foot. i hit it weird like on the top of my foot and i think i hit a nerve so my leg was tingly and numb for the rest of the night. oh and i couldn't point my toes up. i couldn't like lift the front end of my foot off the ground. the feeling has come back a bit, but my foot is still dang sore.
oh man i saw that performance of jack white and loretta lynn on letterman's show. it was AMAZING! i'll post a link when the video becomes available to all. basically, jack owned about 75% of that song. actually, he owned it all cuz he's the talented one. loretta lynn's voice is too generic country gal voice for me. but man, good duet. it's called portland, oregon. and yes, i saw feeny from BLANCHE playing that lap steel in the background. woohoo.
that last entire paragraph was just for me. i'm the only one who'll understand it. i forgot to mention i stepped on a staple yesterday and it freakin sucked to pull it outta my dang foot. : / anyone else got plans to see a matinee of 'van helsing' ooooo i'm ready for some historical ficticious monster slaying, hugh jackman style. holy crap! i think one of nigel T. pennyfeather's worms just commited suicide rather than being eaten alive! the worm just plunged into the water! i saw it! that piece of crap! that worm prolly cost me like 10 cents! might as well just feed nigel dimes. it'd be less hassle. that spoiled dang firebelly toad thing. it's a weird toad. he really just hangs around trying to lurk without being seen. he's kinda like me. except my cereal doesn't commit suicide.
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| waiting for the heartache to come |
| 05.06.04 (12:16 am) [edit] |
i'm the first to say happy birthday coco! you know who you are, even though i haven't formally given you the pet name. yer actual title is tasty muse girl. tasty in our world is a title as prestigious as lord, sir, or lady. so happy 17 space girl. http://snickerdoodle.tblog.co... everyone go and wish the same or even better.
got a nice little response there from the preview picture. but tell me this: if i'm oh so great and worthy of even justin timberlake, how come i can't attract a female within a radius of 300 miles? is it cuz i'm only 5'8? is it cuz i don't play her john mayer (sorry mayer fans. but this guy sleep in a dog house at the foot of dave matthews' bed) songs on my little emo guitar? is it cuz i have a personality? i don't have frosted hair? (you look fab cap'n, http://axanar.tblog.com the hair gets the chix) i really truly don't understand the way things work. and if there seems to be someone interested, it's someone like my coco http://snickerdoodle.tblog.co... who's so very far away. : /
how do you cure yourself? give me peace of mind!
great question+outburst, brain. i have no idea what the cure is. but people usually go one way or the other. one way is to eliminate most colors from their wardrobe, lay in your bed and listen to dark brooding musical poetry like bright eyes or elliott smith. http://www.sweetadeline.net but this is only for cool people. this is kind of the give up dreamy approach. you wish you weren't you. ya wish you could be super cool and just tear up a guitar like jack white http://www.whitestripes.net or play a piano like matt bellamy. http:www.muse.mu then you wake up and realize that yer wish prolly won't be granted by some hilarious blue genie type guy who sounds incredibly like robin williams.
the other approach is to somehow manage to pull it together and stop the hate festival and be proud of who you are. "i don't need them!" the overly optimistic way. you don't need anyone who doesn't like the person you are. sure this is all good in theory, but if you just keep getting shot down, the optimistic approach gets harder every time. i know a few people who still insist to keep trying it that way.
i dunno. i say i'm right there in the middle. wearing black, listening to the music, mentally exhausted from the fight sometimes. but if something comes along, i can drag myself up for another round of public humiliation. especially public cuz i just come back and blog my failure the next day on the blog. heh. curse this thing! and on a sidenote, i didn't get shot down recently. the positive picture response just sparked this argument in my head. i dunno why i'm posting this in humor. i think analyzing life way too much is funny. don't you? now, off to practice some of that emo guitar :p
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| you spoiled brats |
| 05.05.04 (8:06 am) [edit] |
because you people can't wait at all one tiny bit, i shall give ye a preview of the stunning wedding type suit thing that i wore at a wedding where i wasn't the groom. soooooooo whatcha think? :p
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
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| jack on fire |
| 05.05.04 (12:43 am) [edit] |
i dunno how the blogging world became a popularity contest. seems like anything anyone has to say on the blurt is "look at me! woohoo! look!" now, i know that can't be taken as an exact quote, but yeah that's basically all you hear. it's all about you click me, i'll click you. here i am, up on my soapbox. shouldn't blogging be about yourself? who cares who reads it. i have absolutely nothing to say everyday, but i still write as much as i can and still try to make it interesting or funny or whatever. and if people come and visit or leave comments or check out my links and like the overall experience, then that's just top notch. i'm here to write about me basically. i have the other blog to write the fun junk. this one is a little bit darker than the other one. but i figure it helps people get to know me and it helps me "vent." ye know? no rant here, just up on my soapbox like i said.
i didn't do much today. i woke up later than i expected. i missed the scrubs season finale which i hear wasn't very funny at all. we shall see. i spent some time on the phone discussing mcdonalds, jack white, the color green, and any other random thing you can think of cuz you just wanna keep talking on the phone. it just depends who's on the other side. after that i decided to go to the grocery store. that crazy checker lady was there. she's the typical "burnt out" checker. pretty much legally insane. i came back home and something is just kinda weird with my roommates. i'm pretty sure they all hate me. they used to be polite and say hi, ask how i'm doing and stuff. but now if i say "hey." they just ignore me. like i don't even say anything. the old roomy who hated me must have got them all to turn! they prolly have conference calls with him every week. no love lost. i'm not here to be their pal. i'm just here to sleep on the increasingly endangered day off. soon enough, the days off will be completely gone. seems like that stupid red store can't function normally without me. if i'm not there, my job doesn't get done and it just gets dumped onto me the next day.
done done done. that wasn't so bad was it? now, leave me comments go visit the links look at me hey i'm over here click here
and here
don't forget here
my coco!
it's all a popularity contest. make us famous.
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| all encompassingly underwhelmed |
| 05.04.04 (3:15 am) [edit] |
usually everyday i can drag myself up and get a post down. today is hard. but i'm listening to this song that sounds so old school and it's sorta making me laugh. it sounds like i dunno, just like an upbeat 90's song. oh man there's that wicked solo i was hoping for. so yeah. have you heard? there's a new post on MEGALOMANIA. http://plainfame.tblog.com it's a good one! they're all good! since none of you listen, i'm telling you again to submit your questions to plainfame via private message or even submit your question(s) to myself or plainclothes21 http://plainclothes21.tblog.c... and they will be answered every tuesday. do i like questions? ALL ENCOMPASSINGLY.
That all encompassingly line is from my fav comedian mitch hedberg. http://mitchhedberg.net he kills me. he's so random but his jokes are great. i highly reccomend it to kill an hour of your time. obviously your time isn't important if you're here reading this right now or regularly everyday.
work sleep work sleep work sleep work sleep work sleep. there. that's my life schedule. wanna hang out with me? i'll see if i can cram you in somewhere there.
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| fitted shirt |
| 05.03.04 (7:12 am) [edit] |
ok wow. i've been gone out of town at a cousin's wedding and also my stupid computer has been ill with a wicked lame net connection. i think i'm past all that and ready for my return. are you ready?
i felt weird at the wedding. i know i was dressed in a great suit with a black shirt and bright red tie and i prolly looked more incredible than any person walking the earth that day, but i was in WAY, WAY too many pictures. we took more pictures of me than of the new couple. i'll try to get one up and going soon here. now why have i completely gone blank all of a sudden? could it be the throbbin pain in my legs from a long day at work? the smell of my work clothes? the smell of my room in general? it's prolly the smell. i know it's coming from somewhere! too bad you can't give yer room a shower. that'd just make it smell all moldy. and yes, that's the one of the really bad smells in this world. the worst smell coulda been the people smoking really crappy pot next to us at the concert. how do i know what crappy pot smells like? i dunno, but i don't think it should smell like burning hobo poo. we all loved that security dude who busted the crap out of the hippies and threw em out. i also commend myself for shoving them off my step when they tried to get up and rock alongside of me. psh! it was quite a show, that's all i can say. i'm still sore, i can say that too.
you should be on the lookout at the plainfame blog. there's links all over the place. it'll be updated soon here and also tomorrow the golden cow will be answering a fresh batch of questions sent in to him. if you wanna get a question answered or even a chance to interact in a special treat, send in your questions via private message to plainfame.
http://plainfame.tblog.com" title="http://plainfame.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://plainfame.tblog.com
i hope nobody watches the show ALIAS. (sorry cap'n :P http://axanar.tblog.com) maybe it's just me being forced to watch it and i've seen like 1.5 episodes and i've only paid attention to like .2 of that 1.5
i just hate jennifer garner! she's a weird looking rip off of julia roberts and just so very bad at everything. the thing that's fun to do is notice how the entire cast looks like a rip off of somebody. there's a guy on there who looks like a fat michael ian black. there's also another guy we saw that looked like mel gibson and quentin tarantino smooshed together. but who cares, even i'm boring myself with this.
be on the look out for updates like i said. be sure to be visitng the links. especially go and see my love, my coco. http://snickerdoodle.tblog.co... don't be jealous. only when i'm wearing the suit can you be jealous.
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