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| holiday |
| 06.30.04 (3:05 am) [edit] |
my final hours in my room are ticking away. i'm all packed up and a tiny bit nervous about hitting the air. blah blah blah i'll make it there just fine. this trip will undoubtedly provide some good blogs and good pictures that i'll hopefully be posting while i'm there. so watch for that. by the way do you like the new look?
as for my squirmy sister, my firebelly toad better be alive and well fed upon my return. :p "i need you to deliver this letter." - can't you just give it to a mailman? - "i can't [i]trust[/i] a mailman.."
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| fevered |
| 06.28.04 (10:19 pm) [edit] |
the passing of time is a very weird thing. sometimes it's fast, sometimes it crawls, sometimes you have no idea what day it is, sun comes up sun goes down. for me, time is flying. and that's not necessarily a good thing. my 5 day milwaukee vacation is coming up quick. i leave wednesday morning. tomorrow begins my quest to find some sweet inexpensive luggage. and there's too much other crap to even write out.
simon's brother is making a 5 minute film for his college class. the script reads like an r.l. stein book, but who cares. basically the movie makes no real sense. he assigned us both to be the musical editor type people. we haven't seen anything of the film, we've only read the script. we put together some great stuff that'll hopefully work out perfect. i commend the two of us amateur editors for accomplishing our first real independent project. if you want creepy music, just go straight to the ravenous soundtrack. weird cool movie, awesome soundtrack.
i have nothing else really to say. my schedule occupies my mind. wish me luck.
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| c'mon c'mon |
| 06.26.04 (11:35 pm) [edit] |
i believe this post should be a little more interesting than usual. i just got home a bit ago from tom's belated 29th birthday party. my friend and i showed up a little bit late, but we still had tom to hang out with. also an obnoxious soul who previously worked with us who will go unmentioned. i had seen tom drunk once before, and it was really funny. he gets into a great mood. and he was in high spirits tonight. basically, we just hung around in his garage/driveway testing tom's super karate moves. simon and i were allowed to punch him as hard as we could in the stomach. while simon was a bit more apprehensive than myself, he still got in a few hits. i've mentioned before that tom is a black belt in tai kwon doe. so i was punching him right in the gut as hard as i could and nothing was really happening to him. the real fun began when simon declined kicking tom. naturally, i accepted. boom boom boom boom. 4 kicks to the side as hard as i could hit. nothing happened to him. it was funny to see my internal debate turn external.. how many times do you get to say aloud "well, if i kick him too hard he could get really hurt. eh, oh well." i did get the compliment that i had a lot of power and potential. and i could hit harder than simon :D
we got outta there after a couple of hours of goofing around and hearing the same 3 stories over and over. also we decided it was time to go when tom was telling me to break a broom over his back. that combined with those stories... interesting night. drunk tom repeats himself even more than normal tom. after that we headed back to simon's house and had some of the leftovers in the fridge, sat around in his room and listened to some stand up. then i left for home where i am now, testing butterfinger cookies or something not very tasty. that's about all i guess. i don't think i'll be having another night quite like that. i must admit it relieves a lot of built up anger getting to beat on somebody for free. the only thing i regret are the few times he mocked fighting back and didn't miss!
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| now i know how joan of arc felt |
| 06.25.04 (10:07 am) [edit] |
i had a 10:30am interview with a mystery company. i had no idea what the job was for, or what the place was. all i knew is that i was somehow qualified. i was sitting in the lobby of the bizarre warehouse type place. my chair was rather quite comfy. since when the crap did khakis become the official pants of business and interviews around the world? i absolutely hate wearing khakis. dressing up for interviews is ridiculous. but that's beside the point. a janitor walked by the reception desk. "hello igor." the secretary says. quite an interesting name... igor. i fought the smile that was spreading across my face. enter crazy old man #2. "hi lurch." oh this was too much. they have an igor and lurch working for them. but his name wasn't enough. he had to poke his head into an office and with a giant thumbs up declare "go get em tiger!" in the most insane of ways. i looked away with a horrified smile.
i didn't tell that story right at all, but eh. the job might be a lateral step, but i don't really think so. it's like pulling stuff from a big warehouse and putting it on the shelf. i get paid about as much or more. there's a pay increase after 60 days. i have a set schedule that's DURING THE DAY. so anything during the day is better. more hours, more money, day. those add up. apparently they're calling me next week for a second interview and a tour of the facility. i believe i'm freakin qualified to be there. much more qualified than the slack jawed gawkers in the lobby with me. i just hope i fit in : / ha! if only i could get work dad tombo to come with me.
his party is tomorrow and i wanna buy him a razor for his present and a card that says "here's a razor so you can go shave your stupid ugly face." the way i joke around with him is that i'm incredibly mean to him. the entire night i belittle, punch, kick, and rip apart his life. And that's funny. we both have a different sense of humor. i guess that's all. i guess the only question left to ask is: did i shave for nothing?
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| strangers |
| 06.23.04 (1:36 pm) [edit] |
i've been hard at work doing nothing really. Actually it might be the opposite or something like a mixture. My job has put the death grip on my schedule. I knew they're trying to squash me like the anti conformist little bug i am. I'm no team player. Anyway, I've been spending my time looking for jobs, working on my pathetic little resume (mostly adding some padding) and shootin guns. Like i said, it's been a mixture of work and fun. I leave in 1 week for milwaukee to visit my brother. I look forward to my skiing trip on his mountain of laundry. Going back to my resume, it's sorta floating through cyberspace now. I filled out an application at like 3 in the morning this morning before i crashed in my bed. I get a call about 12 hours later and it's the company wanting to schedule me an interview. "sorry, i can't do it tomorrow, i'm volunteering at the arts festival." ha, that makes me look good. i knew it was a power play. The thing is: I have absolutely ZERO idea what the crap this company does. It either does something with medicine, the national park service, or groceries or something along that line.
The fun part of the week has been pretty classic. My friend's younger brother says and does some stupid crap. He was calling his friend and his conversation went something like this. "is josh there?" and the person on the other end says "yeah just a sec." and he goes "ok bye... NO WAIT!" - shortly after that he says to us "danny and i are going to see phantom of the opera." and my friend says "i thought danny said he was bringing a date to that."
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| i will surprise you sometime |
| 06.22.04 (4:53 am) [edit] |
in a little bit of a bind, i like writing what i want, but now if i write anything a little bit off then i get a lot of feedback my way. i'll get feedback for doing that. so here's what i'll do. i'm gonna write the same thing 3 different ways. a bad way, a normal way, and a very good way. you decide what you like best. it's like a choose your own adventure!
[u][b]BAD[/b][/u]
so very tired. sleepy drug myself to sleep cuz i don't wanna be awake. stay asleep longer cuz i don't wanna do it all over again. the dream was dark and unsettling once again. the phone next to me never rings, never makes a sound. who knows what it's like outside today. who cares! kill time till you go back to that fiery prison full of simpletons. the boxes never end. they're especially dirty. allergies so bad. that stupid girl who tells me to smile for no reason. the same conversations. the sore muscles. moon goes down, sun comes up. go home, do it over again.
[b][u]NORMAL[/u][/b]
I guess it's time to hit the hay. I've been up for a while and i've watched some more of the simpsons season 4 dvd. no dream this time. wake up, call around and see what everybody's up to. that breeze outside is fine, but still a little bit hot for my liking. I'll go visit my friend, hang out for a while. Get some dinner, then it's off to work. I expect a long day, so i'm mentally prepared in realistic mode. Hold that temper always. See what's new with vacuum work dad tombo. My feet don't hurt today. Come back home, sleep.
[u][b]GOOD (magic lamp day)[/b][/u]
Jump into the bigger sized bed. Watch simpsons in a little bit bigger room, in a place all to myself. Go to sleep, have one of those dreams that's too real, but still way cool. The dreams with the musicians are the coolest. Wake up, messages waiting for me to go in for job interviews. Go in and nail those. Go hang out with the friends, shoot some guns and totally work everybody. The best meal can't be found in fast food. My fav would have to be the potato&gravy&some kind of meat meal. That can always hit the spot. Off to work, crack some jokes, get out of there relatively quick without seeing anybody i don't like. Drive home in my car with a decent stereo, and another window roller. (it's not too much to ask for.) Come right back and do it all over again, except wake up the next day and it's different, but still quite acceptable.
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| hot fuss |
| 06.19.04 (4:54 pm) [edit] |
a writer jumps at any chance the opportunity arrives. ok, that sentence sounds a bit weird. i remember writing 6 essays trashing the crap out of the crap that is the great gatsby. the great gatsby (as everybody knows) is the worst book ever written. There will never be a book worse than it. Though 'house on mango street' is a fierce rival. i wrote SIX essays. they kept coming back with a low grade cuz my teacher was a fan. it's hot today. (that was an inside joke just for me.)
what else? oh, i didn't get the job i was so hoping for. but before i drop to the lowest despair of life (which is the horrible thing called looking for a job while getting screwed over at the current job.) i've got some things coming my way. a battle of the bulge, so to speak. one last final effort before you eventually lose the overall battle.
i've got my money on mickelson to win the u.s. open.
the killers
are the best new band of 2004. i will see them july 15th. they got their name from a new order video. I also just noticed both guitarists are lefties.
i drove around so dang much today. bleh i hate driving. i hate the heat. there's absolutely nothing you can do about the heat. but the driving around certainly paid off. i've been single handedly psychologically damaged by the captain and his super gorgeous sister. we also got to visit the 4 weiner dogs. interesting animals, those dogs. and this sounds way lame but i actually feel care free when around them. i don't give a crap what else is going on, i just wanna pay all my attention to those dogs. i will admit they are prolly the only soft spot on my cold black heart of gold.
and finally, we've commited ourselves to volunteering at the arts festival. my friend and i are top candidates to man the peanut butter and jelly sandwich booth, slaving for children. we're mainly just going to get a free shirt. i'm also going cuz being a "volunteer" looks way good on a resume. : me out.
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| holding on for tomorrow |
| 06.18.04 (3:35 am) [edit] |
i feel i've nailed my type test/unexpected interview. good thing i didn't wear sweat pants and a shirt with a picture of a hogie on it, not that i own either. for some freak of nature reason i clocked in typing at 112wpm. maybe i was just a lil bit too excited. and i love that i had 1 error to show that i was still human, though don't think i'm a softie. i'm an uncompassionate human. the dude let me look over their schedules and asked which one looked best to me, then he asked when i'd be available to start IF i got hired. so basically he ended up saying they'd get in touch with me either "tomorrow" (which technically now is today) or sometime next week. are these good signs?
speaking of compassion, the big red store has pledged 10 "volunteer employees" to work at the arts festival. i have no idea what this is, but i figure it might look good at a resume, there's just something in me that can't get motivated about a crappy festival. all those navajo tacos that cost like 8 bucks and why does every single person have one?!
shooting guns turned out pretty wicked. i shot up some scared opponents, more than 3 people got shot in the face (not me, ha!) and i only got shot like 3 times in the 90 minutes we were playing, i so rule. guns make me look childish though so i don't talk about em much. it's just fun to have a bit of a thrill, even if the 'bullets' don't hurt. - on another note, my downstairs roommate has packed up and moved. he took a teaching job in a really crappy old school farm county in the state. he wants to buy a farm and all that... weird ambition. if i had a farm, i'd have a pet llama named tina.
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| napoleon dynamite was dynamite |
| 06.16.04 (9:09 pm) [edit] |
ok, the special screening of napoleon dynamite was sooooooooo worth the 90 minute wait. hundreds of people were turned away from the theater due to room capacity, those poor poor suckers. it's the funniest movie i've ever seen in my life. ever single line is hilarious. i'm not exaggerating. click the picture to visit the official site eh. it comes out july 23rd for those of you unfortunate people who have to wait.
![]() =http://img24.photobucket.com/...
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| the perfect runner runs the hall |
| 06.16.04 (7:51 am) [edit] |
on the way home from golfing, things seem to be sort of clicking in the harmony that is this crappy, big universe. the girl behind me in the silver honda kept up with my pace, somehow knowing that i knew the way to weave through the unecessarily slow traffic. the plane flew parallel in the sunrise sky. the strokes making their way through my 2 little speakers. it seemed right for a split second. one day i'll be able to say "everything's in its place." but for now, it'll only be when we sing the mood elevator tune.
backing up from that, i spoke of golf. work dad vacuum tombo and i couldn't get out to the prestige course for free, so we went to a mature beautiful course for 11 bux at 6am. like i said, it was gorgeous. the sunrise, the perfect grass, blah blah blah. my first putt for an eagle in my golfing career. i missed it by 8 inches. but it's always lovely to tap in for a birdie. all in all, i shot +6. tombo is a master of chip shots. the best was when he putted in his par and when he picked up, somehow his brain told him that he needed to put a hand up and wave to the imaginary crowd. i said "what was that?!" and he was like "what was what?" me - "ummm.. who ya waving to there tiger?" so ha. by the way he shot +8, i win.
special screening of napolean dynamite tonight. for once i'm the lucky sock. it's certainly very promising, much more promising than dodgeball looks. i just wonder how many ways you can make getting hit with a rubber ball funny. head and crotch, then what? gimme something deep! - other than that, a little bit more job news. i've been scheduled to take a typing test with them tomorrow, i shall ace it. however, i fear they'll spring a 10 key test on me, but i'll be ready for it.
"everything is in its place, anything in my life that takes up space."
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| changes are no good |
| 06.15.04 (2:36 am) [edit] |
keeping with the consistancy of the blogs this month, here's another one.
the big red store is trying to phase me out. they're putting on the big squeeze. they've moved the daytime shoe lady (whose job is nothing like the night time shoe job) to nites. what's the big deal? well, that leaves no job really for me. therefore, my hours next week are cut in half. and in doing the math and other predictions, this screws me over hardcore. everyone knows i'm getting screwed over too. so i had some support come my way last nite pledging to help destroy the new shoe lady. i did my part by not tagging along with her and just going and doing my own thing. another kid did his part by bringing her more shoes to add to her wimpy pile. the softline harpies made fun of her behind her back (which is normal for them.) but don't feel bad for this lady, she's cocky, creepy, and smokes like a chimney. so techincally, we're defending ourselves cuz her second hand smoke is killing us all slowly, along with the red store.
on a more positive note, tombo's birthday bash is coming up on saturday. i looked for something like ac/dc's greatest hits, but apparently they don't have any to put on a cd. sorry tombo. maybe i'll get him some golf gear. i do know that i'm gonna be vacuuming part of the nite, showing off his kirby. i'm just gonna try to embarrass him. he's quite the dork, and actually never says anyting funny. he thinks he says hilarious stuff all the time, but it's more funny seeing how not funny he is. he actually made me laugh today though. it's kind of a gross joke, but i'm gonna document it anyway to show you the small mind of his and how it works. we were working in the freezer area of the big red store and this big mean girl came around the corner waving her hands in front of her face and moving her fingers back and forth saying "oh it smells so good!" tombo and i were a little ways off so he says quietly to me, "oh my butt smells so good!" but of course, she was referring to the smell of freezerburn, which does smell good. so that's tombo for ya, that's it for me.
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| rings around the world |
| 06.14.04 (6:39 am) [edit] |
i have absolutely nothing to report. however, i'm tired enough to be admiring the small amount of accessories i sport. on my right ring finger i have a ring that used to have elephants on it and spun around. the elephants fell off (but we'll get to that later.) now it's just this flat silver thing with black swirls and 2 bizarre markings on it that look like some language, but i'm pretty sure it means nothing. and whenever i get out of the shower, there's always a build up of soap under this ring, gross sorta but smells nice.
my left hand wears no ring, not even a wedding ring. moving right along, back to my right arm. the decemberists rub on tatoo remains still, quite spotty. it's run the life of a regular tatoo, sharp at first, then smudgy, now just a weird black mark that sorta has a shape of 2 mermaids and a pirate ship in between them. up my arm to my neck and you'll find a black shell necklace from hawaii my ma sent me. by the way, she just graduated school there with a business degree, methinks. so i salute all graduates that day. now, swinging around the black necklace is what used to be the elephant part of the right ring. they hang out and don't bug me ever. i guess that's all. and for the record i'd just like to state that i think it's quite sad that i've managed to make a post out of absolutely nothing.
if you feel like commenting, what accessories do you sport eh?
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| is it really so strange |
| 06.13.04 (11:43 am) [edit] |
another update on the life of me. i consider it more of a documentation for me to review at a later date and remember fondly. golf was cool till my allergies felt like killing me on the back 9. i chipped in for a birde on #2. that was the highlight. after that much later in the nite we began work on a small movie. i got to hold a big stick with a microphone on the end known in the biz as a boom mic. the work aspect of film isn't very fun, mainly cuz i'm holding a stick. but i had fun. and i memorized 75% of the script. so if anyone gets sick...
then i got home a few hours after that and crashed. is dream psychology a career? cuz i'm quite interested in it, actually. i have strange dream, i only remember like 2-3 per week but sheesh. always dreaming of snow/blizzards or i see a fire somewhere. but no matter what it is you usually dream, they all come back to relating to each other no matter how different they are. someone tell me if there's dream psycholgy available for study in college. or if it's just psychology, i wonder. i liked my psychology class. i always wonder why thinks work the way they do and how to see things differently. so ha that's a funny post. oh and in case you're wondering of a place where you can go to interpret yer weird dreams, go here it's good. http://www.dreammoods.com
"hey, the accident happened 10 years ago today.... it'd be kinda freaky if we did it on the anniversary.."
*4 second pause*
"i'll drive!"
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| vehicles and animals |
| 06.12.04 (4:37 am) [edit] |
first of all, your local blogging captain has requested that i don't tell the story of him spilling a huge amount of mustard on his crotch at the wedding reception. so i won't tell that story of the bright yellow stain on his contrasting black pants. or the part of him trying to conceal it, or the part about me reminding the meat guy that it was my friend who had spilled the mustard directly on his crotch. i'm talking like if his pants had a bullseye on em, he hit right there in the 90. so, no mustard crotch story.
that's what we did last nite. my pa came into town and we all rallied up together and headed off to the first of 2 wedding receptions. the back story to this was me getting an invitation in the mail, opening it up and not having any idea who was staring back at me in the picture. i quickly recognized the name, and put 2 and 2 together and commited myself to free food. the reception was nice and the food was good. i'm now a fan of the citrus slushy. the 2nd reception was a very nice get up. we got to ride from our car to the house in a (i'll be it gas powered) golf cart. but the people weren't very interested that we were there. this is where captain (didn't) spill the mustard on his crotch. the turkey sandwiches were smashing. and that was our nite.
so today at noon it's golf with the fam in town, then it's straight to the set of captain's new movie, the tunnel. ooo quite spooky. i'll get to hold the mic or something. i'm very important.
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| fame, fame, fatal fame. |
| 06.11.04 (3:56 am) [edit] |
for those of you who don't know me, this will be a treasure. for those of you who THINK you know me, this might be a review.
i'm going to tell you people who i am. or just some crap about me. this is the bottom line truth here. so here we go.
[u]HOW TO TELL WHEN I'M MAD:[/u] This is pretty easy. I won't say a word. But you can't get this confused with when i'm tired. When i'm tired i won't talk much. But if I'm mad at a person, i won't say a single word to em, not even hello. It's a freeze out, and it's relentless. And If you wanna get me cranky, try asking me what's wrong. It bugs the junk outta me.
[u]HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE ON MY GOOD SIDE:[/u] Simple, I'll make fun of you. That's how I do it. I'll rip on you, shoot little put downs your way, the whole deal. I'd consider this a high honor if you're on my burn list. It's me paying SPECIFIC attention to that person. Look at tombo, I talk about his vacuum and shoot down his dreams of owning a tai kwon do studio all night long. But if i do it behind your back, then i'm just ripping on you. I'll rip on you to your face, cuz it's funnier that way.
[u]CAN'T WE JUST SEE A MOVIE INSTEAD?[/u] 80% of the time, i'd rather just hang out and watch a movie, talk, listen to music, read, nap, whatever. We don't hafta go to a club, we don't hafta spend money. I'm allergic to all of mother nature, unfortuneately. But thanks to my new found gun hobby, I'll be allergic and shoot people at the same time.
[u]HOLD THE PHONE! (this one is mostly for people i REALLY know :p)[/u] The best time to call me is after 5pm. Unless i tell you otherwise. I find myself frequently hit up for phone calls at the weirdest times. No, i'm not awake at noon. But i'll still answer the phone and carry on an entire conversation with you. Sometimes i'll make crazy promises and commitments, hang up and not realize anything until i'm asked why i didn't show up the next day. Generally, i have no recollection of any phone call i have before 5pm.
[u]COFFEE TABLE DISUCUSSIONS:[/u] If you wanna get a good conversation going with me, talk about music. More specifically, ask me about music and i'll begin reciting the entire musical encyclopedia that is my brain. You won't know what i'm talking about, but it gets me out of my social shell. Also, I can go for a while on movies and books and any kind of random argument. But there's just certain things you may not diss in my presence. You may not diss Jack White in front of me (or anywhere else for that matter.) You may not diss Elliott Smith (though I don't see how you could.) And you may not under any circumstance diss Matt Bellamy from MUSE. However, you can say that Thom Yorke looks and dances funny, but he's still a musical god.
[u]I HATE THAT: [/u] I'm a negative, pessimistic person. Get over it. I try not to be, but maybe you positive people can turn it upside down in your interpretation and laugh whenever i make a discouraging comment. You'll laugh a lot, then we all win.
[u]I'M ONLY WEARING BLACK UNTIL THEY MAKE SOMETHING DARKER:[/u] I wear black and red. Little traces of white in there. Maybe something dark blue. That's what i wear, i'm not changing. Sometimes i'll mix it up if it's a nice piece of clothing (in the case of some shorts i got earlier this year) but yeah, Black matches everything and makes me slimmingly stunning.
[u]THE GOLDEN RULES:[/u] And here are some tips in case you haven't received enough yet. His dark materials are the 3 best books ever. The driver controls the stereo, no matter what you say. Arrested Development is funnier than scrubs, hands down. Winter is better than summer. No talking about work outside of work. Jet rocks, i don't care how many times he says "yeah!" Dogs are better than cats in every way. Mountains are better than oceans. As far as i'm concerned, TANK is the one. And last but not least, It's my blog, so i'm right in all the above facts. (not opinions, FACTS.)
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| up at the lake |
| 06.09.04 (9:06 pm) [edit] |
before i fall asleep and never wake up ever again, i'm back (and i don't smell like fish, at least i don't think i do.) - i've never caught a fish. today i caught 8. tombo caught 7. i win! ha. we could only keep 4 each. so we kept the biggest rainbow trout thingies and brought them back to his brother's place, where he promised to cook em and deliver some unto us. even though i'm not much of a fish guy. it was just funny to see how excited tombo got when a fish hooked onto his pole. i think i heard my share of swear words for the week. every time his pole moved he'd jump up and shout out every swear word in his head. (all of this from a mixture of excitement and joy) he was like a little kid reeling in a pocket full of dreams. and of course, being tombo he only has like 10 catch phrases. so every fish that came in you'd hear "oh, he's a little scrapper!"
apparently no one can find stuff on the meteor. but also i've found out a little more. the girl's mom is completely crazy. like 100% crazy. she thinks the little cloud lines that planes make in the sky is poison and chemicals and junk. so yeah, who knows if the meteor is out there or not. maybe it only exists to crazy people, hopefully it'll wipe just them out.
more stuff happened after we fished, but it's all immature child's play involving bb type guns and walking around in the rain. it doesn't concern ye. i've decided i don't have any truly good, entertaining life stories. sure, they can entertain me (sort of) but i can't entertain the public. so maybe we can skip the hilarious story today and you can all just go and buy yourself a sweet piece of merchandise from somewhere on here http://tobiasfunke.tblog.com
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| it's not the end of the world |
| 06.08.04 (12:59 am) [edit] |
tonight at work, something was brought to my attention.
"yeah we'll get to see kill bill 2, at least if we do it within the next 6-8 weeks." said a lady at my work who's super cool and who periodically tells me how many knots i have in my back. "why's that?" i asked. "oh cuz there's a meteor the size of australia that's heading for earth." she stated back. "ok how come nobody's heard this yet? wouldn't this doomsday device be all in the news?" i ask. "oh it is." (i can't find it anywhere) she said. apparently the government knows about it but isn't telling anyone cuz it will cause widespread panic. which makes sense, sorta. but yeah. "what if it doesn't hit us at all?" i question. "if it doesn't get us, the debris will do some heavy damage." she says. so people, let's all just stop going into work, stop paying our bills, do whatever we want, it's the end of the world in 6-8 weeks.
what kind of logic is that? apparently she's backed up by revelations in the bible. she suspects something with ronald reagan dying has something to do with a significant event forseen by revelations. she also thinks with venus going in front of the sun, that is another sign. the venus thing is sorta cool, if you're into tiny black dots in front of the sun. but yeah. "so what happens when we don't die and you end up wrong?" i asked her. "eh.." she shrugged. she has no reason to worry. her mother has purchased 2 power generators. why do people in the big red store turn out to be crazy conspiracy theorists?
somebody find me this article on the meteor heading for earth and i'll be satisfyed. so what does the rest of the big red store thing about this impending disaster? "hey kim, there's a meteor heading for the earth. it'll be here in 6-8 weeks." i said to another lady at work as she was walking by. "good, i hope we all die." she said and kept on walking.
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| bottom of the ocean |
| 06.07.04 (5:53 am) [edit] |
work dad tombo wants me to go fishing with him on wednesday morning. i've never caught a fish, so i figure i'll go and try. even though i don't really dig fish, it'll still be fun i think. we decided this after a grueling 10 hour work day. at the end of the long days we each pop each other's backs. i think the pop of my back echoed through the evil air of the red store and reverberated on the eardrums of all the slack jawed gawkers that dwell within and pretend to be a decent crew. in other words, they're a pathetic crew (save for a handful)
there's this new girl there who was interested to know a little bit more about me. we talked while working for a bit then it was break time. she sat next to me at my table for about 10 seconds until the freakin PB table lured her away with their stupid PB peer pressure. one day, i'll show them once and for all what freakin pansies they really are. as you all know, pb stands for pretty boy. and i've had a silent war going on with them for the past 9 months. it took them about 6 months to figure out that all we do is rip on them in front of them by calling them names in code. they're the spotless darlings of the store who can do no wrong. and everyone seems to like em. but me and my pals can see through their charades. oh yes, i can.
i hate thinking about that stupid gang of foolios and how many times they've edged out me and my crew of semi loyal hooligans. but it's my life, i'm used to losing now. but here, i'm a semi-winner. or i'm a loser posing as a winner. it's all in your act, afterall. how well can you fake your life? very well, in the case of the pb's. i'm no faker. i call it like i see it. i do things the way i think they should be done. and for that, i'm original. or at least i try to be. now, i just need to catch me a fish.
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| i tried to give you up, but i'm addicted |
| 06.06.04 (3:18 am) [edit] |
the ingredients were purchased, the drive home was tense, the microwave was ready to go. yes, i was summoned to make the chili cheese dip. the smell of the processed cheese was instantly familiar. while i stirred, i had the guys chanting a counter curse (for they knew not what i was creating.) i had to do the test dip to make sure that nobody died cuz of me. mmm tasty. deadly tasty. i knew what the dip could do to a normal man, so i didn't have much. i only got a tiny bit sick, more uncomfortable than sick. but we watched the mothman prophecies while snacking the coagulating evilness. suprisingly, nobody got very sick. i believe there was some slight discomfort, but nothing serious. there was a day when i could totally go for the dip. but sadly, my entire iron stomach was destroyed on a fateful winter day when my brother and sister and i all sampled a can of fat free pringles and were nearly all hospitalized. we just ended up immobilized for the whole day, curled up in a mighty pain. now fat free pringles are super evil.
go here: http://plainfame.tblog.com
the movie was a little bit long, but pretty ok. there was some super cool cinematography, and really cool editing. but yeah, it dragged a tiny smidge in parts. after that we all kinda hung around and listened to music then stopped for a while so all the lazy gang could listen to a reading of 2 chapters from the golden compass. why can i read so much faster in my head? i'm a retard when i read aloud. that's about it. that was the saturday. junky, but fulFILLING. ha. ouch ok i'll leave.
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| the yuppies networking |
| 06.04.04 (8:13 pm) [edit] |
when a person gets a cell phone, they don't think too much of it. what you don't realize is that the phone becomes a part of you. it takes 1 night to bond with your phone. when you wake up the next day, it's like your 2nd appendix, except useful.
rules about people's cell phones:
1. don't EVER grab it without permission.
2. no, we rarely play the games.
3. don't mess with the settings ever.
4. don't use the minutes before asking.
5. don't drop it.
6. don't snoop through the past calls/directory.
7. don't change the freakin language and think it's funny. (this also goes hand in hand with #3)
those 7 golden rules cover just about everything. a man's phone is his property and his alone. the phoneless don't understand the bond. but it's a sacred unspoken law that binds society and our phones together. much like the roommate code (which is frequently broken by morons) - quite the friday night for me eh. : /
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| this is what we had feared. |
| 06.04.04 (3:02 am) [edit] |
when you're told to pick up the little red phone in your designated shoe prison, you expect the worst. it's very rare when i'm the chosen one to talk on the phone, but alas i heard my name pierce through the airwaves of the giant, endless red store.
the boss says the daytime shoe lady will be moving to overnights in the next week or two, so i get to move somewhere else. ha. i'm being freed from shoe prison. she hesitates to put me and tombo in the same area cuz "we wouldn't get any work done." i told her that's crap and to try me. we'll see just how far away i get to move from shoes. ha! no more rubber bands! no more talking to shoeboxes and knowing them by their generic names. no more flip flops. at least i hope...
we're making big plans for the following days. maybe not so big. get together with a pal and do some writing, make a guest appearance in another neighborhood and hopefully go shoot some guns, harmless guns. stuff like that. the saturday plan (if there is one) could be cool. there's a few floating around. but work dad tombo wants us kids to drop by and watch scary movies whilst eating junk food. he was telling me about the exorcist. oooo. i'll still never see it. we were talking about scary movies and stuff during break today. there's not many out there, but i brought up the old show on mtv, fear. it was on a few years ago. freakin crazy stuff. if it was real... and these crazy people were put through the worst stuff for like 1,000 bux. it was like "smear the goat blood on you then mock the evil spirit..." where do i sign up? sheesh.
simon wants to sample the evil chili cheese dip. do i dare? i think i do. it's been years. he doesn't understand the horrible power this dip commands over men. so tasty, so deadly. Lord of the Rings wouldn't have been so painfully boring if they were all striving to destroy a bowl of evil chili cheese dip, rather than a ring. if you want your scary movie, just film the life and death of that bowl of dip. unspeakable horror.
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| my enemies all know my name |
| 06.02.04 (11:21 pm) [edit] |
i was gonna one up captain and make a post about something he said before he could post it himself, but i forgot what it was we were talking about. curse my brain. (p.s. captain is the one that experimented with NAIR while in the basement shower at his grandma's house where he currently lives.)
i have 3 boxes of macaroni and cheese that goosh and i bought back in january/february-ish. today, i feel like making one but i just really don't feel like it. maybe i'll try again in another 5 months.
the captain jokes never get old.
the mini gang hung out earlier. for some reason, we had pizza and chummed around. happy wednesday everybody. so that's what i did. i also got a ton of official business done the first half of the day while depriving myself of sleep. my stupid firebelly toad is a dang brat. he'll only eat live crickets or worms. he's worse than a cat. i still haven't decided whether or not it's annoying to go to the pet store every 10 days to buy 2 dollar worth of crickets... but i'm borderline...
coco has a cool new header done by me. i must admit, i did quite a good job. go visit her and coax her to write more. speaking of writing, my brother has done a bang up job with a fresh new post. It's mostly the ridiculously stupid kinda funny. but worth your time.
and one last plug before i pull the plug. (ha) Ever wonder what a SHAZBOT is? click to find out. (p.s. it's not really a shazbot.)
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| no wait, but listen, i'm talking to you |
| 06.02.04 (3:12 am) [edit] |
i think i just had the world's worst bowl of oatmeal. it certainly shows me that i can't have anything other than cereal and the occasional hot pocket.
since i keep getting a credit card offer every week, that must mean i have good credit. or "THEY" want to bring me down. (yes, they could want to bring me down. i'm more of a peanut butter and honey kinda guy.)
i'm 19. i live on my own with 4 roommates who i don't know. i don't live with my grandma, and i haven't seen every star trek movie. that's just a couple random facts about me. oh and my car has less miles than other cars.
i guess the harry potter movie is in a couple days here. it's very sold out, but i've got a secret. the sister unit's attorney money making machine has harry potter type parties every time one of the movies comes out. we get a kickin free meal and our own theater to watch it. aw, the perks of being in with the law. though i'm not really in, i just tag along sometimes. paradise comes at a price.
just go here for your random fix of my fiery alter ego. Consider me your shepherd, prodding you in the right direction.
my rub on decemberists tattoo remains. as do i.
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