here is a link to my public photo album of the decemberists 3/28/05.

http://photobucket.com/albums/y69/slcdecembe rists/" title="http://photobucket.com/albums/y69/slcdecembe rists/" target="_blank"http://photobucket.com/albums...

has some kinda cool pix in there. show was fantastic, exactly what i expected, even more fun. i'm debating getting a haircut. a haircut can make you feel like a totally different person sometimes.

i got a letter from my friend today. i shall re-tell a story i've told before. but i doubt anyone will recognize it. here goes...

so back in the day when my best friend in the universe existed and wasn't off doing other things in another country, we played with guns not real guns, mind you. just stupid air guns that hurt like crap if you got shot in the face. i never did, but apparently i had the record and reputation for getting the most head shots in on people,my gun was just naturally evil. my friend had this pair of pants he bought on the sale rack at old navy. this pair of like... green cords. "5 bux! they were 5 bux!" he'd exclaim to me.
this entire story hinges on this pair of pants. well, his pants had seen better days. they were literally bursting at the seams. he had them all pinned together literally down both sides of his pants. i even remember making a comment about them the same day "when are you gonna retire those freakin pants to the trash hall of fame?" i smirked.
well, we were in the middle of an intense air gun game when my friend and i were ready to make our assault on the base. we looked at each other with our guns up, and made the lung to jump around the corner when that horrible sound came...
rippppppppp. my friend's pants had literally burst off of him. my initial reaction was to fall to the ground laughing, i did that. but that didn't stop those little plastic bullets from whizzing past our heads. "cover me!" he screamed. while trying to lash his pants together. i was shooting furiously "i'm running outta ammo!" i yelled, while laughing. he tossed me his gun and i ran out, in a blaze. we lost.

a place for me to vent my frustrations. it's like venting into space where nobody sees or hears it. you get those reassuring comments to make you feel needed. monticello was completed last nite. by myself and 2 other loyals. the rest of the traitors left us about halfway through the project. thereby, screwing us over hardcore. i literally worked from 1pm-7:45pm on that stupid shed. we finished the roof and threw up the last wall. our only form of revenge was to put the pad lock on the door and make those suckers wait to get in. it rained all night and all day, i worry about the integrity of our ceiling. i'm curious to see where it drips inside. i'm sure it does, somewhere.

my personal life remains quite the same. i'm still solid on my new bet of bringing a lunch to work out, and being more physically sound. since the chicks dig above average dudes. it seems like i don't want anything that comes my way in this department. i have my eyes set. anything else would be half hearted. my dreams seem a bit more intense lately. stuff like apocalyptic tidal waves and another one where my reflection showed me with black wings. nothing to worry about. dreams come out meaning exactly opposite of what you think they are.

so there i was, standing on that weird incredibly green hillside. looking down at the burning city lights in the valley below me. even though it's dark out, i can still make out the shape of that huge mountain, or volcano off in the distance. something inside me knew it wasn't dormant. then there came the water. flowing from the top of the mountain, destroying the city below me. that huge wave coming towards me. i try to run, but i don't get far, the wave sweeping me up. now i'm swimming with all those other people swimming past me, trying to stay afloat. i don't know where to go. but the water takes me against my will. i get washed out into a neighborhood full of wandering people. i'm looking for a place to stay. and that's the part where i wake up, look at my clock and it's exactly 4:00am. being the musical nerd i am i think "wide awake at 4 in the morning, killing time on the blue highway." then i go back to sleep. now, here's what a few of the things from my dream mean, supposedly.

we worked hard on the monticello today. we didn't make it as far as planned. but hey, at least we got a good looking picture of me out of it. and tons of other crazy ones.

i do not conform. i have a small following of people who believe in me. not like some weird thing, but people who know i'm capable of what i say i can do. i will never have my personality stripped from my bones and replaced with a pair of khakis and tact. this is how i am. i'm sarcastic, i'm moody, i'm a know it all, i'm competetive, i'm opinionated, i'm blunt, i'm honest, and i'm loyal. there's lots more things. but i have to redefine myself. nobody knows who i am anymore.

look at this interesting bit of writing i've come across.

you're a liar
you lied with your eyes
even when you were told a thousand times
your heart is dark and empty too now
because you lied
there's no turning back for you
you've made your choice
it makes me smile with a bitter taste
a broken mirror to show your face

i've been outta town the past couple of days visiting the niece and family and what not. we had fun and ate more meals than i'm regularly accustomed to. i met my future step mother and she seemed like a nice intelligent lady. though i don't think we had nearly enough time to chat with her and my pa. my mom also flew in from hawaii so it was fun to hang out with her. my brother was the one who turned out to be nervous the whole time. along with my sister who's always super nervous, but that was to be expected. most of the time i just went along with the flow and didn't draw too much attention to myself, just kind of played it cool. i took lotsa pictures. i figured out i'm the only person in the world who can take focused pictures with my camera. and when you take your pictures in black and white, it makes everything cooler for some reason. so it had been a while since i used my camera to document an adventure, this was a good time to use it. it's been a surprisingly long weekend. so i'm ready to go back to work and let things fly by again. meanwhile, enjoy a couple pictures. and be sure to visit my brother's blog on the links there. THE CSB. it's hilarious and deserves way way way more comments.